I need this.
First time I feel the need to write. The need to think,
And to be.
This I need.
~11:45 am: Woke up
Not a great start, but I got up excited to study and learn.
Three exams are in two days and I have been studying all week.
Maths is starting to stress me out.
~2:30 pm: Study session in progress.
Maths is really stressing me out.
Coffee is at its peak at this point and the stress is derailing my focus.
I am trying, yet I feel overtaken by so much emotion.
~4:30 pm: Anger
I can not hold it any longer.
My anger has manifested itself from thoughts alone to the way I pull my hair.
I feel the pulse on my temple suddenly throbbing.
~5:00 pm: Framework of stress
I am starting to tear up, that is, of course, tears of failure.
A simple math problem that I do not understand, yet it is simple.
Time feels physical as if it was chasing me.
Or, does it feel as if time is about to win my race.
I am just constrained by this framework.
~6:00 pm: I need a run
I stopped studying and the stress settled down.
Although it is settled, the framework is still there.
To change it, I chose to run as a form of meditation.
~8:00 pm: Refreshed
Showered, rejuvenated, and thankful
Leaving studying for tomorrow.
Thank god my race is a marathon
First time I have experienced stress and felt like giving up.
But, if I did, well…