War at Peace in Fixing myself

Today is the day where I finally feel at peace. I know this day will not be forever, I know that this happiness will be over very soon. Things have been rough lately. I feel like the world has been putting a center of survival around me, I can’t tell if my egotistical mind is telling me that the world is ending or that the world is actually ending. Although this pain and suffering will never forever be over, I want the pain and the insanity to just go away. I was never this way before I met you and I wish I never met you. You broke me, you broke whatever I had left of me and you continued to shatter it. You shattered my heart and my trust in anyone. There will be no words to ever describe why I let you go a free man. That day at the park, I remember saying no to you and you not caring. I remember staring off into the distance trying not to cry about how uncomfortable the experience was. You even tried to do it again, but I pulled away as soon as you tried. What don’t you get by the word no, it wasn’t an open invitation for you to pick and choose what you want. What I wanted you to do was stop and listen to what I told you, I told you no before and at the moment. I was 16 and you were 18, you knew what you were doing was terrible and you continued. Yet I let you get away with it. I was so worried that my friends would turn on me before I ever got to let out my story. I let you get away with something people are put in jail for a long time. Why can’t I let it go, it still feels like it’s happening again over and over again every day? I am tired of the pain that has been caused by you and your actions.