Describing myself... in Random Thoughts

So I’m finally going to do this. I may get back on dating sites, or some such bullshit, and I need to actually be able to say something, so time to get my thoughts together. Fair warning, I’m planning to do the whole “what I want in a girl” blabber, but some of that may end up here too.

I have what I think is a fairly unique voice. When I was in choir, I was classified as a bass, and I can sing fairly low, but I can also get some fairly high notes. But my talking voice is usually kinda high. I have to actively remember to drop my voice sometimes when I’m talking. And of course, the more excited I get, the higher my voice goes. The funny thing is, most of the male singers that I like have a low talking voice, and sing higher, but I’m the opposite. The downside to my unique voice is I really can’t do impersonations of anyone else, as much as I’d love to be able to imitate Christopher Walken or Al Pacino, I can’t. On the plus side, I don’t know that anyone could imitate me accurately. But, especially on the phone, if I’m not trying to talk lower, I sound really young.

I also look really young. I still frequently get mistaken for 18-22. 10 years ago, it went as low as 14. I’m very baby faced. It’s way worse when I’m clean shaven and fresh out of the shower. I don’t mind it too much, but it can be annoying, as working in a professional field when experience sells, it’s kinda hard to portray experience when I look like a kid. I have like 5 or 6 grey hairs that I know of, I don’t have smile lines or crows feet, the lines in my forehead are still relatively shallow, and my body hair has always been pretty light and fine. I also can’t really grow a beard or moustache. I tried once, and it looked awful. Of course, I also did that when I let my hair grow out, so yeah, it was really not a good look.

I’m generally a good person, and I do try to see the best in people, but I’ve had to be more careful about that, as it’s come back to bite me more times than I’d like. I care a lot about people I consider my friend, which my friends are few. I don’t trust easily. I’ve learned I can’t. If you break my trust, I’m not gonna trust you again easily. It’s gonna take a long time. And I have this habit of not saying anything or not doing anything, just something comes up where I’m needed, and I’m nowhere to be found. I have had this bad of kinda being a people pleaser at my own expense. I’ll get mad as hell and be cussing you when I’m alone, but smile to your face and still be helpful right up until I’ve had enough, then I either go silent or I’ll start making sniping comments to you. On rare occasions now (unlike when I was younger) I will completely lose my shit and tell you EXACTLY what I think of you. I’ve gotten a lot better about keeping my temper, of course, good pills help.

When I love, I love hard. It’s all or nothing. It’s only for one person. You get my whole heart. I’m openly affectionate, but I’m not the type to just make out in public. But I like holding hands, walking around with our arms locked, or an arm around each other. I really like hugs. Especially the long tight hugs. The ones that actually mean something. Long slow kisses are good too, but I’ve never really been into french kissing. I dunno why. I also like a fair bit of snuggling. Realization I had a month or so, when I bought my truck 5 years ago, I intentionally bought one with a split front bench seat so I could have my girlfriend right next to me where I could put my arm around her as we drove along. Yeah… I’ve been single pretty much that whole time. lol

For better or worse, I like to sing. If I have my headphones on, or I’m in the van, the truck, or the car, I pretty much always have music going. Huey Lewis, Eric Clapton, Garth Brooks, George Strait, Tracy Chapman, and more. I listen mainly to 90’s type country, pop, soft rock, lite jazz, stuff like that. I just don’t do cRap/hip-hop or screaming type music. And I generally like to harmonize. Some I sing the written harmony, some I find my own harmony. I used to publish stuff to YouTube, but ended up taking it down after not having anything new for a few years. I think the one I was most proud of was this remix I did of Joshua Kaddison’s “Jessie” that I did off a MIDI file and recorded 4-part harmony. I did try an do an all vocals version of Restless Heart’s “Why Does It Have To Be”, but to be honest, it kinda pretty much sucked. I can be honest about that.

I’m a tinkerer. I love to take things apart, fix them, and put them back together. Had I the facilities, I’d probably have already taken my car apart twice, just for giggles. It’s part of why I work on garage doors and gates, bit of thinking, bit of troubleshooting, bit of exercise, and fix something. I’ve built computers, I’ve built a building or two, I’ve rehabbed a couple houses working with a friend, I did my own maintenance on my car when I had a decent place to do so, I like working with my hands. Hopefully one of these days, I’ll get to a point where I can get back to trying to learn an instrument, guitar, or maybe piano again.

I have an odd sense of humor. It kinda ranges on the situation. I like to laugh, and I like to make other people laugh. I don’t hesitate to make a self-deprecating joke. I know my faults, I know what I can’t change, and I’m okay with that. I do think farts are funny, give a smirk and a “that’s what she said”, I’ll find a one-liner to throw in when available, I’ll do goofy voices sometimes too. I know when to be serious, but I also know when not to be too serious. Even when things are crap, I still try to find something to laugh at. Smile, life’s too short to be miserable.

I like animals. I’ve pretty much always had one pet or another throughout my life, dogs and cats mainly, but I’ve had fish, turtles, and hermit crabs at various points too. I’m not opposed to having more than just the normal pets. I’ve had friends who have had birds, horses, goats, snakes, lizards, one has a donkey (named Jack), and I can see it being cool to have them as pets. Parrots are cool, my favorite would be the African Grey, but favorite bird would have to be Great Horned Owl.

I like my cars too. I have a diesel 4x4 truck and a small sedan with a manual transmission - both stock, and I like them just like that. They’re both old and high mileage, but when I bought them, I bough EXACTLY what I wanted. I like to do my own maintenance when I can. I also ride a motorcycle, nothing fancy or fast, just a 250cc cruiser, and I’m perfectly happy with it. I do think internal combustion is on its way out, but I don’t think plug-in’s are really the complete replacement. I do like the hydrogen fuel cell system, as it’s - from a usage perspective - a direct replacement for gas and diesel. Plus, it has the added benefit of being a rolling air cleaner.

I’m a proud American, and a proud Texan. That means I believe in traditional values (I differ on bodily autonomy, though), I like my guns, fishing, hunting, etc. But don’t mistake country for clueless. I know what you’re talking about, I may not understand everything, but I do understand. One country thing I’m not as interested in is drinking. Part of the stereotype is a six-pack or a red Solo cup, but it’s not accurate for all of us. I also don’t do any drugs, nor do I smoke weed. I have drank, I have been drunk, I have smoked weed, I have been high, but it’s unnecessary to me. I’d rather keep an unfoggy mind. Plus my coordination goes to crap when I’m intoxicated. LOL!

I also like to cuss. I keep it under wraps when need be, but when talking to friends, or my internal monologue.... or when cussing out traffic with the windows up, I use a fair amount of choice 4 letter expletives. I dunno why, but I’ve always like the sound of “s#!t”. No idea why. It’s also kinda funny to me too, again, no idea why. And “f@(k” is pretty versatile. I’m able to use it in different forms in the same sentence. Bit of George Carlin routine. I also say “goddamnit” when I am not one who believes in god that way, so that’s a bit of an interesting twist, I think. It’s one of those things I know some people just absolutely cannot stand, but it’s also a part of me I see absolutely no reason to change.

That’s all I can think to say about me. I’m sure there is actually more, but this is always an awkward topic to try and write out.
Thanks for reading.

Last updated August 23, 2020