Roaming through the chasms again... in Just Call Me Your Lunatic Friend. Welcome To The Madness.

Hi everyone! It has been a quite a long time since I have written here…or even read anything here. For that I am sorry.

On one hand, nothing has really changed in my world. I’m still taking care of my mother. I’m still feeling very alone. There are no friends that seem to desire to reach out to me. It feels like I have been sentenced to live life alone on the human dehydrator. It sucks.

This morning I woke up to the feels for and memories of a past girlfriend that I truly love(d) and thought we had a strong future together. She never seemed to think she was beautiful or even attractive but to me she is and was those things and more. Even today when I think of her I get very turned on.

Physically, she hooked me and exuded a sensuality and sexiness that captured me. I remember when we first me face to face, just walking into the room she occupied was one of the sexiest moments I have ever experienced.

She had been waiting for me to arrive after my day at work. She passed her time by perching atop the nightstand. legs pleasantly separated a bit, allowing her fingers to do the walking and preparing herself for our union. I entered her room and immediately went to the sink and washed my hands because I had had to stop a fuel up my car before I arrived.

After I washed up as to not contaminate her (in my thoughts) with the filth of the gas station, we met in an embrace so strong it felt as our bodies were communicating their relief to finally be together and their need to be even closer.

I never wanted that moment or that weekend to end but it had to. Our lives had to resume, mine with my job and not much else, hers with her job and family back home.
We often talked about someday being together for good, but time & circumstance, (or one could say reality) has a way of not allowing our thoughts, desires and hopes from finding reality. She is sharing her life with another man that I can only hope loves her as much as I did and do even to this day.