ugh, like personal growth and stuff in 2014

So I had a bit of a fall out with my bosses at work and had quite a reaction to the situation. I decided the best thing to do was to take a bit of time out for myself to address why my reaction was so intense.

So today I had a counselling session to address ‘general anxiety’ leading to ‘excessive worry’ and how to have ‘difficult conversations’. I actually wasn’t aware of these terms until they were brought to my attention today.

My MO is to cut and run and I’m really not a fan of having difficult conversations or fixing broken relationships professional or personal. Once I’ve decided something isn’t working I’m very good at moving on. I often regret this later upon reflection.

So I decided to try and work on that, personal growth and stuff. So she’s given me a worksheet to go through to ‘help’ me have the difficult conversation on Thursday when I return to work.

I want to go into work on Thursday and say you’re all a bunch of dicks etc. Instead I’m going to try and have a mature conversation to see if we can reach a mutual understanding.

Of course if they act like a bunch of dicks I’m going to cut and run buuuuut i’m going to try. Not because of them but because I want to try and become better at relationships.

I’m still trying to setup another job to go to though. Just in case.

Also personal growth and trying change ingrained habits from childhood is incredibly uncomfortable. Ugh.