What Do I Do? in The Adventures of Sugarbear and Cupcake

So kinda in a weird place right now emotionally. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but there are protests in a bunch of cities and riots and looting has broken out in some. My city is one of the ones where a peaceful protest in the early evening turned to looting and rioting as the night wore on. Randy and I were doing Postmates downtown around the time people were starting to gather for the protest. Around 8:00 or so he said he was going to drop me off (this was yesterday by the way) and he wanted to go back out and see what was going on with the protest.

In case you don’t know my husband is black or African American if you prefer. I am not. I’m mixed white and Dominican. I would have gone with him but he said it was too dangerous.

When we got home and turned on the news, we heard that it was starting to escalate. He still wanted to go out because he thought he might be able to do some good and keep people from looting. At least he wanted to try. I was nervous for him but I thought if there is a chance for him to make a positive impact then he should go. He was on the phone with me pretty much the whole time. Thank God.

I was watching the news and telling him what they were saying. It was just scary y’all. I was scared for him and the other people down there. The cops were in full riot gear and throwing tear gas canisters at the crowd to disperse. Randy got hit a couple of times. Once directly with the tear gas. They broke all the windows on this one major street and looted the CVS and Dollar General at least. They also set fires and graffiti was everywhere. Someone found a safe and they got it open and were fighting over the money. Randy did try to calm down some situations but at that point it was just rage. No one was really thinking. At least not clearly. They couldn’t have been. People were arrested (thank God not Randy). It was just chaos. This morning they boarded up windows and cleaned up as best they could. Randy went down after he got off work to help. It’s just sad.

I mean, I understand and share their anger and frustration. But at the same time, you’re destroying your own community and businesses. Some of these people won’t be able to reopen or rebuild. And some of them might have sympathized. Been for you, not against you. Businesses have just started reopening after this whole Covid-19 thing. People are finally going back to work and getting new jobs. Now this? Some people might not be able to recover. And that’s sad to me. I just think there has to be a better way to get the point across. I don’t know what that way is, but there must be one.

So it’s around 12:30 right now and rioting has broken out right down the street from our house. In North Hills. Randy’s headed out now to see what’s going on and try to stop mayhem. They’ve already set fires. At least one. I don’t know guys. This shit is crazy. I feel like I’m in a movie or something. I’m angry, scared and sad. And the whole thing that started all this was the most recent police brutality incident where the poor man died. The cop had his knee on the man’s neck and he couldn’t breath. He wasn’t resisting or anything and told them he couldn’t breath, and this cop killed him. He’s being charged with 3rd degree murder and manslaughter. Which should happen. But it’s just the breaking point I guess. Too many black people have been killed by cops. I think too many people are killed in general and yes some of it is racially motivated. But not all white people and cops are racist. I just don’t know what to think right now. My heart is heavy.

Until next time.