I both love and hate when I get sudden bursts of motivation towards an idea or goal. This morning, I awoke briskly and ate breakfast outside on the porch. No electronic devices were switched on, just the gentle breeze and birds singing. I think to myself, ‘hey I could get used to this!’ but there is always this part of me that doubts this routine will last any meaningful amount of time.
I just want a routine that focuses me and lasts for more than two weeks. I started opening my Malay learning books again this morning, which was nice, but I’ve let myself down with my commitment to learning that language so many times in the past. Why should this run be any different? I am feeling pensive and reflective, starting a journal, waking early to sit outside and so on. I feel like as soon as something else comes along to take my attention, all these things will just slip away again.
Overall, I feel quite shit, and quite vulnerable in a way. I think my physical health is having a strong effect on this. I haven’t exercised much, if at all throughout COVID. I know it would benefit me to do some and to raise my spirits. There isn’t really any excuse not to.
Let’s take it day by day. I have some books on Taoism arriving later this week, which I’m really looking forward to. I’m feeling open to reflective ideas.
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