Antsy with frustration in Another Open Diary refugee

John doesn't want me to go to church today because there's too many people and too much likelihood of my breathing in perfume and stuffing up my lungs again... I'm getting sooooooo frustrated with being basically housebound. I seem to need the nebuliser twice a day most days. If I take it in the morning I'm okay for six or seven hours and I can do stuff, but then I crash and burn and have to do it again, and I do NOT want to use it at night because it keeps me awake for a full two hours afterwards. The inhaler isn't working as well... use that and exert myself/breathe in chemically stuff (just a few squirts of cleaner or shampoo) and I have to reach for the nebuliser anyway. Looks like it's going to be a lot dryer today, so hopefully I'll breathe better. Yesterday was hot and humid and rainy and it was like breathing soup.

Yesterday we ran errands, and we almost had a huge fight about money and how we don't have any in the car on the way home... We were in the middle of the fight and I was getting upset and I said 'at least I've got an excuse - prednisone' and then I realised how true that was. In the end he told me to shut up because he was getting upset and angry, and that made me more upset because I was already trying to apologise and he wouldn't listen. The prednisone is definitely making me more irritable/easily upset than usual. Not in a huge way, but enough to notice. He took me to the animal aid thrift store and let me wander as long as I wanted to, and I found some nice cheap goodies to buy and calmed down and apologised profusely because I really didn't have any good reason for the fight except the medication. We almost never argue but sometimes I'll say something the wrong way and really upset him and I can still not have a clue what I did wrong even after we've fought because I wasn't trying to start anything in the first place! But usually it's because he thinks that 'I' think he's not being a good enough provider... but I don't think anything of the sort. I am NOT that spoiled!

PS. Talked to mama last night and she asked how my walking/mobility is doing... not great. You have to be able to BREATHE before you can walk. :( Sick of this...