Is there any hope for an unloved wife? in Nothing

why? Why me? Why do you hate me? Your voice spouts pure hate. Your eyes never meet mine anymore. If I could just see your eyes meet mine I would feel better. I bet you don’t even know the color of them. You don’t kiss me goodbye some mornings and at the end of the day you look at me like I’m the last person you wanted to see, you don’t talk to me. I never know how your day went until you either lash out or you get so drunk you don’t even know what day it is. It’s rare you take joy in curling up with me just to watch a movie. You never marvel at me, I’m definitely a constant unintentional disappointment. I try so damn hard to just make you smile no matter what it costs me no matter what sacrifice and yet I still drown in my tears. I’m so lonely sometimes I miss you so damn much but you’ve changed so much more. Is there any hope for a loving unloved housewife? We never talk it’s like you would rather be out doing something anything as long as it’s not with me. The sight of me exhausts you I swear. I do everything you ask and more yet it never measures up. You love everyone! just not me.
I’m an embarrassment to you. I guess I’m just not shiny enough”shrug”. Sometimes I think to myself if someone offered you a million dollars heck $500,000 dollars, who am I kidding 100,000 dollars to kill me you would shoot me right between the eyes. “Cling cling cling..” goes my spoon in my coffee.