😔✌️ in my diary

i couldn’t breathe and was having chest pains. i was so so so scared and the people who i’m closest to didn’t even respond. I had a mental breakdown in the school bathroom and not only did you laugh, you TOLD PEOPLE ABOUT IT. i had an awful headache and almost passed out. guess who asked if i was ok? nobody. at the moments i need the most support, i feel the most alone. i am always the one to ask if someone is okay, and i get nothing back. i feel like nobody genuinely cares about me. the one person who cared about me, sam, i grew apart from. i don’t tell anyone my feelings. i feel like a jar that keeps getting pressure added and even though it looks really tough from the outside, the glass is moments away from shattering. this is why i don’t cry in front of people. because my friends don’t have my back. I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THEM YET THEY CAN’T GIVE ME A FRACTION OF RESPECT. i have no one to talk to about my feelings. you complain about your weight, how you hate how you look, how your parents are annoying and i listen, but i feel like i can’t say the same. i could answer a million questions about you, but could you even answer two about me? i genuinely feel so alone even when i’m surrounded by people. nobody understands me.