he said it. finally. in Random Life Things

So, I may be journaling while on a call for my job… lol. multitasking at its best!

So, something in the air has changed in my marriage in this last week. I don’t really know what it is. But we just feel so much lighter and in love. like there was a spark placed between us.... but that is NOT the only thing different.
Yesterday we woke up and we decided to go to lowes and get some gardening items cause he was able to get some flowers from work and mulch. so we went out and did that and he hadn’t eaten like I had so we went to arbys.… its funny, some of your best convos can be in a car… He said he wanted to start trying again in a few months for another child. NO ONE UNDERSTANDS HOW BIG THAT MOMENT WAS FOR US. He was so hurt for a very long time and he was so angry and he still is in areas. At God mostly. But for him to say he thinks he is back in a space where he knows he will always love Caroline but still wants to grow our family is HUGE! Just months ago, he said he didn’t know if he could get there… ever…

Now, I have my thoughts, on what changed this for him… I started spotting weeks ago, and I told him that I should have started by now, I hadn’t at the time, and that if I didn’t soon I was going to need a pregnancy test… and he said I never skip my pill so doubtful. True, but ppl can get pregnant on the pill so you never fully know when you have a moment like that. Well a couple days later I started… he seemed a little sad, but I just thought its cause he is a man and periods mean no sexy time. But then he said this… Im trying not to scream it to the world that we are both READDDYYY. listen, I will always love my angel child and I will always wish she was here. and celebrate her. But, the reason we had her was because we wanted another child to love and watch grow with Paige. Gah, she is going to be the best sissy. and that has not changed.

So, I have a goal… Lost at LEAST 30 lbs before we can try. So, my life is about to drastically change. (kinda) I am Fasting 9 pm - 1 pm and then eating like i would cause I have cut down on portions greatly already. and I don’t do a lot of sweets. but SODA and TEA are my issue. So Water and Zero sugar only. and I am going to start doing more outside to help get me out of the sedentary state I am in.

So here is to weight loss and baby makin’!