untitled in 20/20

so many spirals
up and down my streets
the staircases leave me transfixed
dizzy from the spin, spin, spin

the trees are budding
right outside my window
sturdy des érables
storms can’t topple them

electric sparks in my belly
fear has tuned me to static
i’m reading the same sentence
over and over and over

i keep breathing in the dark
i try to venture out
get some air in my lungs, bathe my brain in oxygen
but i’m on my knees

alone together
time is loping quickly
there is a wall of dancing electrons between us
when we touch, it’s mostly empty space

this steady buzz
throws me off balance
i trip and scamble
on the downward sloping sidewalk

i want to escape
it looms over me
shouting, “you CAN’T do that.”
then whispering, “don’t DO that.”

later…

he smiles at me, hands me a plate of scrambled eggs
i laze on the bed
sun streaming warm yellow light on my toes
his kindness was/is always there