You won't be happy until somebody puts an eye out, will you? in Fish On!

I was innocently drinking from the Internet watering hole of political news, when this manly image leaped out at me like a lion pouncing on an unsuspecting gazelle and seared itself onto my retinas:

Aggghhh! It's the Anti-Jeremy!!!

I think the damn Internet is broken. How else to explain the infestation of shirtless photos of Vlad "The ladies call me The Impaler" Putin, versus the tragic dearth of shirtless Jeremy "River Monster" Wade photos?

You might remember that I stumbled across the mystery (or is it the conspiracy??) of the missing shirtless Jeremy Wade photos back in July. I've been shamefully remiss about updating, but I assure you, Patient Reader, that I haven't given up my quest to obtain a shirtless photo of the lovely and talented Mr. Wade. (A high-quality one, not a crappy screengrab. Because obviously I'm all about quality.)

Unfortunately, even my dogged persistence and search-engine savvy have failed to bear fruit. And worse, Jeremy Wade is proving to be stubbornly resistant to my allure. I know, right?! Another mystery! After all, I'm charming and witty, and, though I blush to admit it, rather cute. I'd be a lively addition to anyone's social circle. I'm like the Oscar Wilde of the 21st Century.
(Except I'm a girl. And I have no fashion sense. For instance, it would never have occurred to me to wear a hat with such an insouciant tilt:

And I consistently fail to make a bow look that pretty. ... But I digress.)

Rather than admit defeat regarding the acquisition of the elusive shirtless Jeremy Wade photos, I've decided to try a different tactic.

Without even looking very hard, I discovered a horrifying array of shirtless Vladimir Putin photos on Google Images. In fact, there are enough of them that I could include one in every future entry ...

... indefinitely, unless Jeremy Wade hands over the goods.

Mwah-ha-ha-ha! Only Jeremy Wade can save you now, Unfortunate Hostages!

I'll end this with a blatant challenge to Mr. Wade's pride competitive spirit sense of all that's decent and right in the world:

"Crap! I accidentally hooked a fish before I could get my shirt off!"

Oh, that is just sad. And what is that on his line, a mudsucker? Seriously, Jeremy Wade, are you willing to let this putz best you in this whole shirtlessness thing?