Work, work, work... in 2014

In 2017/18 after a particularly long bout of unemployment between IT contracts AND the death of Chris I reevaluated my career and ended up going back to school to study Counselling.

I figured if the IT industry was changing in a struggling Australian economy and there was less opportunity for employment it would be a good idea to retrain and potentially change careers.

Upon graduating my course I picked up a 3 month IT contract. My gosh how I had missed IT money. However by the end of the 3 months I was reminded why 20 years in IT was enough and there was no chance I could get through another 20 years.

Then I picked up a contract working on a funded project exploring the impact of mentors on at risk teenagers. The concept isn’t new and I don’t think the project is revolutionary in any way, shape or form. However it was a fun first job in a new industry. It was just a shame about the toxic work colleagues.

So I moved jobs and joined an established company that has a number of contracts from the Department of Human Services. The contract I work on specifically is helping at risk, disengaged teenagers find their way back into education or employment.

It’s been quite an experience. I’ve seen and heard the most terrible stories but at the same time I’ve also witnessed the most amazing resilience and brilliant outcomes. I find it a privilege to be a part of their journey, even if it’s just for a short amount of time.

My parents abandoned me at the age of 15/16. I finished high school living in a house paid for by a church. It’s where they housed abandoned children who were too old for DCP to care about. So being able to work on a contract that targets the same age group I was when I was at my most vulnerable gives me a sense of purpose. I know first hand the impact having kind, genuine people made on my life trajectory.

On Friday morning my GM turned up at my office and asked to speak to me personally. With all the COVID drama they have had to move their training courses to online. He wanted me to go to HQ that afternoon to do a crash course on delivering the training via telephony. Then he wants me to work from HQ for the next few weeks delivering the training whilst still doing my normal job. We moved to telephone appointments with the teenagers a few weeks ago now. So logistically that shouldn’t be a problem. However the department warned us there would be an influx of new referrals coming due to COVID. So I told my boss I won’t be able to deliver online training, manage my current caseload AND onboard new clients. Thankfully she agreed and will get me some help.

Once the training was done and we were reviewing our material it was casually mentioned that the next step was to let go all the trainers. Ahhhh what now?! Without the face-to-face delivery there was no work for them so they were being stood down until further notice.

Then we had a team wide conference call where our GM told us some grim news. The Department, for now, has deemed us an essential service so we are to keep operating but we have to continue to change our delivery model to meet the Government regulations with COVID. So there are potentially many more changes coming. Then he described the changes he’s already implemented that day, including my (and others) redeployment and they lay offs.

When I got home Friday evening I felt numb. I’m pretty sure the technical term is vicarious trauma. Between hearing the teenagers stories, some of their parents being laid off, seeing the unemployment lines every morning outside the building next door, my work situation being altered, hearing about the layoffs and then being warned there’s more challenges to come. I felt like crying but I also felt too numb to cry. I felt scared by all the COVID updates both here at home and overseas. The seriousness of it all is frightening. I felt frozen and so fragile by a tsunami of feelings.

I’ve also had a cold for the past 3 weeks. The first 2 weeks it was just normal cold symptoms then it turned into a sinus infection with intense headaches and green and yellow snot. I eventually saw the doctor and have been prescribed antibiotics, which are slowly starting to work. I think being sick for so long also drains the ability to be resilient during times of crisis.

So Friday night was spent playing Playstation games with Chook and watching Netflix. I woke up Saturday morning feeling so much better emotionally and physically. We had another quiet day around the house. Playstation and Netflix but we did go out and tidy up/mow the front yard later in the afternoon. Later that evening I asked Chook for a favour. I said to her every day I need us to go out for a walk together. I don’t care if it’s in the morning or afternoon but I need it for my mental health. She can be a bit resistant if I ask her to walk with me when she’s not in the mood for it. So I figured if I give her choice and control of when then she might be more accommodating. I find the exercise of going for a 15 min walk a really good opportunity to practice being in the moment and present which helps me stop dwelling on all the pain and trauma I see every day at work. Usually I go to the gym in the mornings for an hour but with the gyms shut this seems like a good alternative.

I just put a new toilet roll on and we have two rolls left. I managed to buy a packet of baby wipes the other day so we’ve been using them for #1 and paper for #2. We’ve placed a bin in the toilet so we’re not flushing the wipes. I’ve just messaged my brother this morning asking what his toilet paper situation is like. I might float the idea of him bringing me a few rolls when he comes over to do his washing. He’s been stressed out this week because his boss hasn’t been taking COVID seriously and hasn’t implemented any of the government’s new regulations. I went around my office photographing all the notices & equipment we’ve been supplied and send it to my brother to show him what workplaces should be doing.

Oh, what are your Netflix recommendations? Particularly TV shows. We watched Nine-Nine and Big Bang Theory. So now we’re on the look out for a new series to get into.