Guy is my brother-in-law. Jayson and I share this house with Rachel and Guy. We all get along for the most part, except Guy hates me. He has every reason to hate me, and so does Rachel for that matter, but I wish we could move on and be more friendly with each other.
Guy and I had sex several years ago. I immediately confessed to Rachel, who immediately broke up with Guy and didn't speak to me for weeks.
It never should have happened, but let me attempt to defend myself. I was 15 and going through a period of serious sexual dependency. Even years later when I still was struggling with sexual addiction, I still can think back on when I was 15 and think, "Holy shit, I got a little crazy."
I won't talk numbers because some people will think of that as bragging. Trust me, I'm not actually proud of how many lovers I have had. But I was about as slutty as humanly possible at one point in my life. There was nothing usual about having multiple sex partners on one day and on any given week I probably had five or more different lovers.
On one particular afternoon I had gone home with a guy in my class that I had always wanted to be with. We had sex in his bed and it was entirely unsatisfying. I was disappointed particularly because I had been looking forward to fucking him and had considered him a conquest, not just any normal lover. I got home and was feeling horny and sexually unfulfilled and I found Guy home alone watching TV. He had I had always had a very friendly relationship and I curled up with him on the couch.
I don't want to write about the details because I honestly feel horribly guilty about it, but I'll say after a few minutes he grabbed a condom from Rachel's room and followed me to mine. When we were done, he was crying and saying he never should have done that. It took me a few hours to start feeling equally guilty.
He begged me to keep it a secret, but I told Rachel right away. I couldn't live with a secret like that.
Guy and Rachel were separate for a year, and I knew it was completely my fault. I knew they loved each other and I had done something to break them up.
When they got back together, I wasn't sure how my interaction with Guy would be. It hasn't been very good since. He is generally indifferent to me but sometimes can be mean. I think my guilty conscious makes me put up with it.
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