HOME SCHOOL DISCUSSION.... in Muddling Through As Best I Can
- March 19, 2014, 6:30 p.m.
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Well, I wasn't going to post anything else today, but I just had an almost heated discussion with my neighbor about home schooling. I will preface this by stating unequivocally that I am very much in favor of homeschooling, IF you have the time and commitment to do it.
My neighbor is a very nice lady, around my age with grown children and numerous grandchildren. One of her daughters has three young children and has decided to home school them. She is a stay at home mom, and by all outward appearances they have strong family values and spend lots of time with their children. Rarely a day goes by that I don't see them outside with them or at local community events together. Denise, the mother, has a degree in education and is more than qualified in that area to teach.
Her mother, Barbara's first objection was what I find is the most common one; socialization.
My eldest son Austin was homeschooled until he was thirteen. He was very intelligent and quick to learn from his mother who only had a high school education, as did I at that time. By the time he went to public school (this was at his urging; he could no longer play little league football and wanted to continue playing) he was several grade levels above his peers. He was doing calculus in the eighth grade, reading and writing at college levels and had excellent socialization skills. In a class of almost 500 kids, he was voted most popular and most likely to succeed two years out of three. He graduated as a National Honors student, and had scholarships in excess of $70,000.00 per year for four years of college for both academic achievement and for football. He was being scouted for football by every major college in the Southwest at the time of his death. Barbara's response? Well, we were lucky, he was the exception to the rule. So I told her about my friends Arlene and Mel, the parents of NINE home schooled children. Mel was, like Denise, an educator in the public school system. All nine kids have gone on to college and successful, productive careers.
In contrast, all three sons from my second marriage attended public school. I have dealt with abusive parents, abusive teachers, drug use (yay for "socialization") racial slurs from teachers (my youngest son is bi-racial) and other issues. I even had a counselor deliberately try to sabotage my middle son to keep him from graduating high school on time; the same counselor who uttered a racial slur towards my youngest son within my hearing. She is no longer employed, they didn't like my attorney.
Barbara became increasingly agitated that I did not share her point of view, although I did admit that home schooling is not everyone's cup of tea. Rather than argue, I just excused myself and told her I had to go inside and get supper started so I could feed Brad (middle one) before he left for work.
So, just curious what others thoughts on this are. I wouldn't mind engaging in a civilemphasized textemphasized textdiscussion on this topic and some honest feedback.
ConnieK ⋅ March 20, 2014
I think your comment about the parents' effort is key to the argument, for both kinds of education. I do not favor one over another, personally.
I think there are advantages and disadvantages to both approaches. While most kids do not have as dire a public school education as your step-sons, public school does have limitations. But I've also seen some very lazy home-schooling, too, where the child was parked in front of a computer and told to learn.
Socialization can be found in church gatherings, after-school sports programs, and the neighborhood kids, by the way. There is often more than one solution to a problem.
elaine2 ⋅ August 24, 2014
I have been working in public school libraries, both elementary and secondary, for more than 25 years.
If you have the education, teaching skills, and dedication, I say go for homeschooling.
I have read homeschooling blogs that left me rolling my eyes, wondering how anyone who cannot spell can expect to be a teacher for their children. However, those who do have the education and ability to homeschool do their children a great favour. Teachers are so overwhelmed with paperwork and ever-changing goals (after all, the people at the Dept. of Ed. have to justify their jobs, so they keep writing new papers about education methods) that must be met that there seems to be a real lack of actual teaching time. Classes are overcrowded. Teachers are forced to teach courses about which they know very little because the days of the specialist teachers are long gone. The teacher who taught chemistry last year might be teaching European history this year, hating it, and passing that lack of enthusiasm on to the students. Kids don't spend recess outside getting fresh air or doing anything remotely beneficial. Instead, they hang around playing on computers and texting each other. And, of course, learning is considered to be a 10-month, 5-day-per-week, 6-hour-per-day deal rather than a constant process. Regardless of the vigilance of the adults in the school, kids can get soft drugs. They can be bullied. They can come to school feeling fearful until they find their safe haven.
On the other hand, homeschooled kids who have the benefit of an educated parent who knows what they are doing see learning as a 24/7 process. These kids don't have to cope with being bullied and having drugs shoved at them. They are not victimized because they do not wear the latest clothes, often consisting of not much more than beach wear, or have the most up-to-date technology. They do not miss school time for two weeks at Christmas or due to a storm. They are not left to sit in a cafeteria for an hour doing nothing more challenging than texting the student three seats away. They are ENGAGED with learning rather than feeling like victims of learning. They learn to use tools to educate themselves rather than just sit there being spoonfed.
As for the socialization, I think that were I the parent of a school-age child today, I would want to know with whom my child was associating. If parents could see what goes on at school, they might not approve. Young girls should not be having body contact with boys four years older, but they do.
I truly believe that homeschooling encourages kids to be proactive about learning. They watch as their parents work with them and often learn along with them. That is so different from sitting in a desk with 30 other kids while a teacher tries to keep order, teach the lesson, and give individual attention to those 30 kids inside of an hour.
After 25 years of watching the public school system deteriorate, and watching how some of my acquaintances homeschool their kids, I am a huge fan of homeschooling IF, and only if, the parent-teacher knows what they are doing. I do not think it is the way to go for everyone. Some parents seem to do it as a way to push their religious values, and some do it because they have this Earth mother thing going on but do not have the eduction and skills to teach kids grade 6 math. I don’t think a parent has to have a degree in education in order to homeschool, but they should definitely have to be able to pass grade 12 exams themselves.
jdf1960 elaine2 ⋅ August 25, 2014
Thanks for responding. I agree completely that parents have to devote themselves to homeschooling to have it succeed. If the parents lack interest and motivation, so will the children. My first wife, Judy, was able to be a stay at home mom.I was very happy with the knowledge Austin was able to soak up in his years of home schooling.
I give all credit for his education to his mother. Even though we are no longer married we have remained friends for 22 years. Both of her children from her second marriage have attended public school. Her eldest son now 20, graduated high school with an associates degree in after only a year and a half is set to graduate in June with his bachelors. Her daughter 11 is entering 6th grade and is an honors student. I truly believe whether schooled at home or in a public school, a parent's involvement in their child's education is vital to their success.