Today's Entry... in My Current Feelings.

Dear diary, this might seem strange to the reader but let’s begin anyway. Everything in my life seems what you could call, “Perfect.” My family, my grades, my personality, my friends, “Perfect.” This could not be further from the truth, though. I feel the constant need to just not live anymore. My family calls me fat, in my mind, everything feels off, and I just want to end it all. I stress eat to just shove down my feelings down until I can’t feel them anymore. I cry almost every day because of stress, or pressure, or feeling no self-worth. Today, I bursted out crying during band recital after school. It was so embarrassing, worst part is that it just had to be the one day that the teacher who is most important came it. I just wanted to call it quits. I just wanted to be done with it all. I just wanted to end it all. I couldn’t go on with it anymore. This may seem like I’m just asking for attention but I just really need to express this without someone judging me, or just saying, “It’s okay, just don’t worry!” It’s not, I’ve asked for help but never received it, I’ve asked for someone to talk to, I can’t get it. All they say is, “You have so much talent and potential, you should use it!’ I don’t care anymore. I just want to get this over with. I’ll write back soon. Signing off now.