Do Not Confuse Composure For Ease in Magical Realism

In November we went to Barbados. They put us up in a ridiculous suite with the most beautiful view of the ocean, a pool, and a swim-up pool-bar! I liked the format of this event too - each day there was a test swim, we swam about 1km one way, then waited for everyone to get in, hung out a bit, then swam 1km back. There was a nice dinner afterwards each day. Lots of nice restaurants. Very nice people, swimmers and locals. Beautiful water.

One of A’s bucket list items for the longest time was to drink at a swim-up-bar. Like his dream of seeing the Northern Lights, this one was thwarted for years before we were actually able to do it. I guess we don’t often go to the types of tropical places that have a swim-up-bar, but I think we tried twice in Florida and Las Vegas and the pool bars weren’t operational that time of year or something. In Macao I definitely chose the hotel because it had one, but there was a typhoon or something so they closed it the day we were there.

On the first day in Barbados we were tired after early flight, test swim, dinner, etc. but went to the swim-up-bar at our hotel anyway. It was a good thing because it was closed the rest of the week! We also went to another swim-up-bar at one of the post-swim dinners. Very nice. They announced me and Cameron as the guest swimmers a few times but it wasn’t too embarrassing mostly, most people just used it as an icebreaker for a chat, a few asked for selfies, etc. Not too bad. I try and speak with everyone and be friendly and a good ambassador and try and silence the voice that tells me that I’m disappointing everyone. A and I had downtime for some really nice meals alone too, and a few meals with people we already knew. And I saw a sea turtle during the last swim!

Nothing is coming to mind for the rest of November/December. I went to San Francisco for my friend’s 40th birthday to do an Alcatraz swim with her which was short but nice, but I don’t remember anything else noteworthy. I wanted to be away for the holidays but A basically had to work every day except Christmas Day and New Year’s Day (including Christmas Eve and NYE day) and I didn’t want him to be alone. He wanted Chinese food at our local on Christmas but it was all booked so we did Georgian food instead, which was cozy and nice.

Day after Christmas I flew to Amsterdam for an ice swimming event in the Amstel River. It was an uneventful couple of days. I saw a lot of people, swam horribly (I either did an extra lap or swam a kilometer 6 minutes slower than usual/only 2 minutes faster than a mile swim.) It was overall embarrassing but it was good to get away during the holidays. We went out as a group one night to look at the Christmas lights on the canals, and a vietnamese dinner (had a veggie bun bowl) and everything else was otherwise smooth/uneventful.

Got home the day before New Year’s Eve, rested up, A went to work on NYE and then we went out to a fun event at the Angel Orensanz center, a gorgeous old synagogue turned event space. The last time we were there was that crazy Museum of Sex gala with Dita Von Teese and Perez Hilton. Madness. The theme was “White Lights” so I got A an white brocade funky blazer with black piping for Christmas, and he wore a light up bow-tie I gave him a while ago. I wore a champagne sequin dress with fringe-y sleeves and a golden halo crown made of zip ties. It was an amazing time, we kissed at midnight on the balcony as confetti flew and champagne popped and we ended the night in a diner in our neighborhood and even made it home before the sun came up. It was a new year’s eve miracle.

The day after New Year’s day I flew back to San Francisco for a mini swim-camp during another friend’s winter break - I needed to snap out of my rut and do some actual swimming. I stayed at her house in Orinda and we ate super healthy, did heavy training in the pool and also in the Bay with two-a-days. One day we did a 10k in this gorgeous outdoor heated 50 meter pool and then swam in the Bay, and another day we did 2 x 1.5 hour back to back masters practices, also with a Bay swim afterwards, plus some other less heavy days. It was nice.

Then it was back to work for a couple of weeks, then flew back to the Bay Area, I took the early flight and then BART straight into the office, then the highlight of the day was meeting up with lovely [adriana mole] for a nice long walk with (amazing!) Akita Eleanor “Noor” in Golden Gate Park, then perfect sunset dinner/cocktails at the Beach Chalet, walked on the beach for a bit, then heading back into town for a quick run through of View Bar but it had a few too many decibels of noise for our liking. It was so nice to catch up, it had been too long. And my phone told me we walked 9 miles!

I stayed at the super-cute Hotel Triton above the Cafe de la Presse which was nice but I was so zonked it could have been anywhere. The next day I went into office, had lunch with my old colleague from SF days, then took the train to San Jose where I saw a swastika graffiti in the restroom and caught the bus to Santa Cruz. Some friends picked me up, they thought it was so funny I took public transport. I thought it worked okay, I was supposed to ride with a friend but she cancelled at the last minute. There was also a (very well behaved) small dog on the bus!

Got groceries, had dinner with fellow swimmers, then slept over in my friend’s amazing beachfront Santa Cruz house, it was so lovely and peaceful I wished I was staying there for the whole weekend. But no, I had committed to do this crazy 24 x 24 event where we did 1 mile every hour on the hour for 24 hours. The Santa Cruz sunrise was so nice over the open water, but we headed to the pool, got things set up, then started swimming at 9am. It was like the movie Groundhog Day repeated every hour on the hour.

Swim 70 laps for each mile in this pool, which took me about half the hour every hour, then showered the chlorine off, dried off, rested a bit, maybe are something, then the 5 minute warning bell rings again and it’s time to re-cap, re-sunscreen, and back in the water. Even in the winter CA sun is strong so I wore a rashguard leotard type thing and diaper cream on the face until the sun started going down around 5pm. Then took the cream and rashguard off for the night. We had pizza around 8pm which was tasty at the time but I should have stuck with liquid calories. I bought stupid things like a baguette and string cheese and energy drinks. I didn’t end up drinking any of the energy drinks, just a bit of coffee which I think was smart in retrospect.

I found out the girl I was splitting the lane with had actually gone to my same undergrad school and swam on the same swim team. Small world. I remember seeing her name on the record board still when I started years later. The chlorine started to burn my face around midnight and I started to feel chaffed on my neck and sides. At 3 and 4am I felt mentally fine but was just annoyed wondering if I was going to give myself bad sores or chemical burns on my face for the week ahead. Several people including my lanemate dropped out around this time, I kept going but was just over it. This guy I really dislike overslept and then lied about it. What a toolbox. I wore fins a lot towards the end just to get through the mile quicker. I even used pull buoy/paddles sometime, for variety. Then the sun came up and we were done.

Showered up, took photos, hung out at the beach house for a bit, then grabbed a ride to the airport with Amy and Kirk which was so kind of them. Moved myself to an earlier flight but still hung out in the lounge for a while - passed completely out in a chair with my swim parka over my head. Classy. Hauled my carcass to the plane and did the same thing in my seat. I got upgraded to this pseudo-business class which was less than stellar. More legroom and better meal but the same amount of width as the coach seats. People around me were vocalizing their disappointment. Landed home and thought I timed it perfectly until my uber cancelled just when it was supposed to be arriving and I had to wait another 10 minutes which was just unbearable at 1am when I hadn’t slept enough. I heard later that this is a common scam at airports. Then I was home cuddled up with A which was awesome.

My skin was dry and peeling so I slathered myself in lotion for days which was great because I had important in person meetings that Tuesday and my face looked like a dried out foot. Then another few days at home before heading off to Ireland. Met my travelling companion at the airport, we had the premium economy seats which were a good choice. (Not sure if that’s the name, the purple ones ones between the blue seats for frequent fliers and business class on the United seat map.) Landed in Dublin, checked into our hotel (in a Castle!) but only one room was ready so we napped in her room until check in time, I checked in to my room, took a nap, then got ready for dinner. We were supposed to meet like 8 people at dinner but they all ended up cancelling. Ha. Went home and crashed hard.

Got up, did work, and A’s flight came in and he came straight to the hotel/castle. We grabbed breakfast and our friends came and picked us up for a swim at the iconic 40 Foot swim area. So nice. We swam and met lots of lovely people, went to the James Joyce museum, and then for pub lunch with some nice swimmers. I was hoping to go home and do work after that but instead we went to another bar, got dinner at hotel.

The next morning was the ice mile swim event at Clontarf Baths - the water was a degree or so too warm for an official ice mile, but the swim was nice, the pool was awesome, and the fellow swimmers were nice. The Baths were an old sea pool that was abandoned for 30+ years then recently renovated/reopened last year. I spoke with some old timers who had swum in the old pool as children. So cool.

I swam in the first heat with the fast men, so didn’t feel like I was swimming particularly fast next to them. The walls were also super slippery so my turns weren’t amazing. My time was okay, and my friend who was timing me said my splits were like all the same time except my first 2 which were 1 second faster, and my last two which were 1 second slower. Funny.

I warmed up in my survival blanket, which everyone thought was hysterical. (Yes it makes me look like a jacket potato but I don’t really understand how they re-warm in the cold air. If the temps were lower there likely would have been issues. They had heated ambulances in case people had problems, but I didn’t want to go in there.) Then I watched and cheered on the other heats until it was time for awards.

I ended up being first female so I got a red jacket, some trophies, the softest and nicest fuzzy bobble hat and a basket of really nice hair products. Lots of photos, our friend gave us a ride back to the hotel, showered and blowdried, then had lunch at the hotel, then out to watch the rugby at Mulligan’s near the stadium where it was actually playing. I was falling asleep on my chair. Everyone else enjoyed though, and Ireland won. Then we went to another bar to say hello to Pakie’s sons who worked there. Then we went to the other Mulligan’s where the swim event after party was. It was way too crowded and I was zonked. Beer just makes me more tired I think. We used the Free Now app to taxi to a restaurant, the cabbie, Latif, was blasting Michael Jackson at levels that would definitely cause deafness. The restaurant was no longer serving food so we used the app again to get another taxi and it was Latif and his MJ blaring again. We laughed so hard. Went to what was listed as one of the “Best Places to Eat” in the area, a japanese place that said they were still open, but it was a takeout joint only. Luckily there was a bar next door that didn’t serve food and said they didn’t mind us bring food in, so I went next door and ordered, then went back to get everything.

We hung out for a decent interval, but still left probably too early. Repacked everything, I got A a taxi with my app to head back home to NYC and then we headed out later to Ljubliana, Slovenia via Frankfurt. We made it there okay, the house was nice but the more time I spent there the worse I felt and I just wanted to be home. I stayed a couple of days but the feeling didn’t pass. Too many people, I didn’t feel like swimming, I stayed in one night but couldn’t shake the feeling of utter exhausting. So after a couple of days I changed my flight, booked the shuttle back, and packed up. I ate the leftovers from my pasta and FLED BLED. I ate and drank in the lounge until my flight was cancelled. They wanted me to stay in Slovenia an extra day but I just couldn’t face going back so I talked myself into connections in Brussels and London and then the first flight home from Heathrow in the morning.

There was something wrong where they didn’t have a record of me going from Ljubliana to Brussels, but I landed in Brussels and eventually they assigned me a seat even though I had no official boarding pass. Conked out on the short flight and didn’t realize until I got to passport control that I’d left my passport in the plane. I was horrified - 10 years of flying twice a month and this is the first time I pulled a bonehead move like that, but it worked out okay shockingly. I started walking back to the gate but somehow the guy overtook me and snagged it first - I was so distraught I actually hugged the guy who brought it to me.

Continued on to London, then took a taxi to my friend T’s house. She just bought a house with her partner and it is still mostly under renovation. She made me toast and we drank a glass of wine from a jam jar and caught up. I had to call again to change my flight from an 8am one to 4pm because again they had no record of me being on the Brussels flight and wouldn’t let me change it online. At first the guy said he could change me but I had to be at LHR before 7am anyway (?!), so I had to ask for a manager but once I got one she was super nice - there was something very wrong but she distracted me at 1am telling me about her grandson who was interviewing for PhD programmes in music and cognition, is on the spectrum, and is a freestyle skateboarder. She told me his name so I could google his performances on Youtube. Everything was crazy and completely surreal but worked out okay.

In the morning we brushed our teeth in the kitchen sink and took the bus to her local lido. My credit card worked as a bus pass! We swam 800 meters in about 5C and then hit the steamroom, jacuzzi, shower. We had breakfast and coffee at the lido cafe and it was so nice. I was feeling too wobbly to take the bus/tube with multiple connections so I took a taxi back to Heathrow but it wasn’t too pricey. Dialed into conference calls on the plane through the in-flight wifi which worked better than it sometimes does in the office.

Got home, did work, went to sleep, woke up and was frantically trying to get things done when my laptop overheated and the keyboard stopped working. Went into my email on my phone and somehow sent an email out that was not completed and incorrect. Got bawled out by everyone and their mother. Went into IT and they told me my computer needed to be completely changed out. Sat in the cafe on my phone waiting for them to do that, drank office machine fake starbucks coffee and ate two pieces of stale pita with hummus that was up for grabs in the cafe.

Computer working better but other than that my situation has not improved much since.

This was the longest entry ever and is more disjointed than my brain lately, but I am going to hit “publish” against my better judgment. Apologies in advance.

Last updated February 11, 2020