One Angry Dwarf ⋅ 119

I AM AN ETERNAL MONSTER OF LIGHT

"i can't think of anything but butt jokes"

dude who can't think of anything but butt jokes

Entries 157

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December 21, 2018

shoes, betch in Public

Remember that time I said I wasn’t gonna socialize in December and now I have two social plans in a row tonight? JESUS CHRIST. HH with the Kord Blood Kidz. I… think someone invited SOD but I don’...


Big Brother called me at 6:30 last night to ask me how to “send an email so no one can see who it was sent to.” Known to all other adult humans as “BCC” and literally how do you not know how to d...


Oh man, so I tried to get drunk on two beers yesterday (since more would be a bad idea) and film myself talking about primary/secondary qualities because WHY NOT LOL. But then I wound up, uh, rea...


Okay y’all, I spent like, a third of my day yesterday thinking about primary vs secondary properties because it seemed like the way I was describing it was being interpreted as like, different pe...


OH HI, EVERYONE!!!!!!!! Man, an interesting convo happened in my comments yesterday! Basically about how understanding secondary properties is the basis of empathy, so it actually IS a big deal t...


Oh man oh man I’M SO FAR BEHIND ON DEPHOMO. I should play catchup today. I should also do some work. Ugh. Thursday was SUPPOSED TO BE my final social event of the month. It was good. Went out w...


I decided to do some outdated NoJoMo prompts in a single video because WHAT ELSE AM I GONNA DO. MY LAUNDRY? LOL WHO AM I, THE POPE? I… I MEAN THE POPE PROBABLY DOESN’T DO LAUNDRY? gotta get a lau...


December 06, 2018

DePhoMo #5: Country Life in DePhoMo

I don’t live in the country, but I did take a picture of this painting in a bar once. I mean, I imagine that’s meant to be the country. #NotAllCountryBabies, obv. OR IS IT? No of course it’s not...


COUNTRY LIFE, man I have no idea what to do with that since I live in a city and never leave. Ha ha. Also, ninjas. HOW CAN I TIE NINJAS INTO A THING. Man, so Big Brother (dude in the pics from ...


December 04, 2018

DePhoMo4: PATTERNS in DePhoMo

I’m trapped in a pattern of mutually enabled self-destruction with my MAYBE-BEST-FRIEND???-turned-boss. I regret nothing, except referring to him as a friend lol lol lol but no I love him more th...


THE SEATTLE LIBRARY, Y’ALL. Reasons I like the Seattle Library: cool walls (what a good angular boy) public bathrooms p sure it has books????? I was drifting off to sleep last night when I rea...


Fuck. I’ve been feeling weird for a couple weeks now. I don’t even know what it is. It’s definitely not as extreme as dissociation, but there is definitely a degree of separation in my brain that...


December 03, 2018

DePhoMo 2 in Public

TOO LAZY TO RE-UPLOAD THIS PHOTO SO HERE https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq6wbqLlLfr/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1ezxp974s0djc BYE


thanks for tryna correct my british english, browser, I’M JUST BEING AUTHENTIC TO THE ORIGINAL PROMPT. THE MORE U’S THE BETTER, OKAY. Okay so this is my hand and not someone else’s but do you re...


We just got an envelope full of checks that was delivered in August but the receptionist is LITERALLY the worst at mail, so they were delivered to the wrong department despite HAVING OUR BOSS’S N...


I have stressed myself into a fucking corner and I need to fix it. Work shit isn’t too bad but I’m definitely not being a stellar employee. I need to GET ONNNNN IT. And I have! Since I got here o...


November 26, 2018

OH HI. in Public

LIFE RIGHT NOW IN CAPS LOCK AND BULLET POINTS THERE IS A TICKING TIME BOMB OF STRESS INSIDE ME BUT INSTEAD OF TAKING THE RISK TO TRY AND DEFUSE IT AND CAUSING IT TO EXPLODE, I’M JUST LETTING THE...


God. LONG RANT ABOUT SCHEDULING I DELETED basically everyone is trash. Ha ha. There are like 3 people who consistently respond to scheduling emails outside of my immediate team–who also don’t res...


Fuck. I have to go to my coworker’s place to watch reality TV tonight and I wish I was dead. She wants us to all get high because she doesn’t drink. That’s even worse. SO MUCH WORSE. Being high w...


November 15, 2018

and i don't even own a tv in Public

Cute guy at work’s name is too generic to stalk on the internet. WHY IS MY LIFE SO HARD. Also why am I going out of my way to try to force myself to develop a crush, DON’T I HAVE ENOUGH SHIT GOIN...


A) What does the last text you sent say? And to whom? “(Trudy)! Is this still your number? It’s Jess (Lastname)! I heard you might be coming back?!” B) What does the last text you received say? A...


TOOK THE FIRST SLIGHTLY HIGHER DOSE OF THE THING I’VE BEEN ON FOR A MONTH AND SPENT THE LAST 5 HOURS STRAIGHT DOING MY LEAST FAVORITE TASK AT WORK. I always wind up spending 5 hours straight doin...


Holy shit y’all, what a FUCKING WEEK. Wednesday Hung out with Zardoz and GF. Back to planning our meetup group. But uh oops I stayed up till 3 AM and almost died the next day. Thursday Hung out ...


NEXT ENTRY WILL BE PICS-HEAVY OF PORTLAND COS IT WAS A RAD AS FUCK TIME AND MY BOSS’S FACE MAKES A SHOCKINGLY FREQUENT APPEARANCE BUT FOR NOW WE’RE DOING A HIGH-LEVEL OVERVIEW MY DUDES. Portland...


MUCH MORE IMPORTANT UPDATE: I HAVE A PHONE INTERVIEW FOR THAT ONE JOB THAT’S BEEN GIVING ME THE RUNAROUND FOR MONTHS. IT’S SCHEDULED FOR THURSDAY 10:30AM. THANK GOD I NOTICED THIS IS 10:30AM FUCK...


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