pangolin

Everything happens so much.

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my therapist suggested I keep my kink shit and my dating shit separate and I am not totally sure what she meant by that and I’m not even sure I agree but I did pretty much cry through our entire ...


I hadn’t thought about Frank for a long time - for the longest time in my life - for so long I don’t even remember the last time I thought about him - I mean he was still reappearing in my life a...


today was my last day at culinary school and the feelings are a lot and my dread about the future is real but my parents came and gave me a card with that Eleanor Roosevelt card about doing one t...


today I bought a very large jar of pickles and decided that Costco is not a store designed for people like me. by people like me I don’t just mean socially anxious and wigged out by spaces that a...


wow, tomorrow is already Saturday, aka my Monday. I am torn between having this awesome career and doing absolutely nothing whatsoever forever. I’ve been thinking that the culture at the restaura...


hello this week has been very wowie and work asked me to come in tonight and I said no even though someone filled in for me for somewhat dubious reasons yesterday. I’LL PAY IT FORWARD LATER. so, ...


Current books: the Culinary Institute of America’s garde manger book, and Chrissy Teigen’s new cookbook, and my food and labor cost control textbook Current music: I’ve been revisiting Neutral Mi...


I am relaxing alone for the first time since Saturday and the fact that I am not being productive instead is making my butt clench up. it’s 6 pm and it’s pitch black outside and it’s gonna be all...


chef kept saying I was having a strong week this week, that I’ve ‘really stepped up my game’ and I can’t tell that I’ve done anything different. I’m better rested this week than I was last week. ...


I made venison stroganoff today. I wish there more left of it for me to eat. I made butternut squash ravioli yesterday, the pasta and filling both from scratch, and enough got in my way that I on...


finished all my homework before the weeeeeed even wore off [100 emoji 100 emoji 100 emoji] I am baking bread at 450 degrees and the heat is on and I am bundled in a hoodie and sweatpants and inch...


today was very dramatic and then I ate two weed caramels that I made and did laundry and thought a lot of thoughts, and reluctantly turned on my heat because they did not have the space heater I ...


-I got a new blanket, that I think is revolutionizing the way I sleep, I find its weight and texture and color much lovelier than the big ugly fluffy blanket I’ve been sleeping under, that I thin...


September 19, 2018

anacanthus in cavalcade of anger and fear

a few weeks ago when I had an edible I stood under a tree in wonder, having no idea that such a tree even existed. at first my thought was I wonder what tree this is and then I realized the answe...


hello summer is in its death throes, not in like a car accident way but in a dying peacefully after a long and satisfying life way. what I’m trying to say is it’s warm out, but at night, especial...


Current books: I have been reading The Living by Annie Dillard since POSSIBLY THE BEGINNING OF TIME (aka July 23). I don’t usually stretch out books this long but holy SHIT have I been too busy a...


hello I strongly considered calling in sick to work today because it was soooo nice out and I was soooo not feeling it, but then I went, and my station was DOUBLE BOOKED, so I did not have to wor...


last night I got home from a very trying shift at work and didn’t know what to do with myself and an article came up on my twitter feed about a spider that lived for 43 years, in the same nest, a...


yesterday was my first shift working the cold station ALONE in the restaurant. it was terrifying, especially because it was my first day back to work after like 6 days of vacation?? the prep on t...


I didn’t really expect to have a mystical experience at the Eaux Claires music and arts festival but here I am sitting dizzy on my bed with my heart all skinned and pumping gratitude-colored bloo...


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