Silver Satan

I am a girl. Writing because I cannot not write. That's all there is to it, that's all there is to me. You can call me Jinn or Demon.

How odd I can have all this inside me and to you it’s just words.

David Foster Wallace -The Pale King

Entries 406

Page 1 of 17

1 day ago

Woof in Dead Words

I’ve been chasing these people down about my insurance for two days now. o.O Supposedly someone was trying to reinstate it but I can’t for the life of me get her to call even though she was suppo...

4 days ago

Why in Dead Words

I lost my health insurance… It’s an absolute cluster fuck. I’m on all these medications I can’t afford or stop taking abruptly. I’m already depressed, tired.. and anxious… and now I feel like I ...

4 days ago

Honest Talk in Dead Words

I think I need to get rid of my Facebook. It’s a time suck, people just piss me off, and it’s never very helpful. The only thing it does do is allow me to keep up with friends and family but not...

5 days ago

Morning in Dead Words

Yesterday kicked my ass. I woke up with a storm in my head An ocean in my lungs Bee stung eyes And a whole heap of anti-omph

The rain of depression has left me absent then the Flu sucker punched first my father then me, and it may of hit X the jury is still out. He was/is defiantly sick. I haven’t felt much like writin...

March 02, 2017

Shake it off in Dead Words

Here lately I’ve been trying to shake this shadow weighing on me. That constant feeling of wanting to break down into tears, those screaming voices of negativity the reaffirmations I am worthless...

February 19, 2017

Lemon cake in Dead Words

Our water here sucks, even though it’s technically okay enough to drink it smells and tastes horrible because of algae in the lake. Which means no tea for me. I could try a purifier but not sure ...

February 16, 2017

Social Anxiety in Dead Words

I got a burst of energy today and was able to move around the house getting stuff done. I always feel better when I’ve done something and it allows me to sit and reflect on what’s been bothering ...

February 15, 2017

Survivor in Dead Words

I’ve been in a strange place lately. I keep trying to keep up with everything but I feel like I’m drowning. I am so blessed but it’s never been about blessings or counting them. It’s about me and...

February 10, 2017

Sunbath in Dead Words

I feel the urge to cry as a deep inner sadness swells up devouring me. The merest thought of doing anything outside the home brings me anxiety, and the thought of being in the home depresses the ...

February 10, 2017

Another Step Forward in Dead Words

If you are going to have to wait six hours at the DMV my father is the man to take with you. He gets pissed so easily and when he’s pissed he’s hysterical. On top of that he knows he’s a little o...

February 08, 2017

Crazy in Dead Words

So a person who was once a friend contacted me the other day demanding I listen to why they treated me like shit. Their reasoning was they have another friend in their life who was causing the me...

February 06, 2017

Babble in Dead Words

Friday the car decided to freak out so we had to find a mechanic and pray it we were going to be able to afford it. The mechanic we got was amazing fixed the damn thing for free since it wasn’t a...

February 01, 2017

Aggravation in Dead Words

When you say something over and over because you know it’s going to end badly No one listens Then they say.. I know I know I should of listened. Then the next day you say something over and over ...

February 01, 2017

Quiet Beginnings in Dead Words

Another day making it through. through the restlessness, the depression, the anxiety, the hopelessness. Not just making it through but carving out a smile here or there, getting this or that done...

January 31, 2017

Small kind in Dead Words

Today was a day. I want to say uneventful and it was, but also not pleasant. Still it was a day and I pushed through. I took a shower, I wrestled through the restlessness, I did some if not all t...

January 31, 2017

Unwind in Dead Words

I needed things to go right this time so I chose the side against myself. I chose the party that would do me harm and I forgave and befriended them again. I didn’t want things to end to the same ...

January 29, 2017

Music & Glitter in Dead Words

Embrace the good. Lately that’s been helping even if it feels like I’m having teeth pulled. It’s required copious amounts of music and yes glitter. The truth is I don’t who I am or where I am goi...

January 28, 2017

Magic in Dead Words

I am not proficient in the art of letting good things in. I never used to think of myself as walled off, but I am VERY. Good things especially don’t make it past my walls I don’t trust them, and...

January 26, 2017

This Dance in Dead Words

One foot in front of the other as we yell fight scream and hurl incessant nothings. Everything has been said before Every door slammed and re-opened All for the sake of the drive That nimble thi...

January 25, 2017

Tea and Music in Dead Words

Writing this on my new laptop :) I went ahead and bought it and X talked me into getting the nicer one so I can game with him when I want. I felt terrible, but now I am kind of enjoying having so...

January 25, 2017

New Things in Dead Words

Why is it I can’t buy something new without this feeling of guilt ? I’m supposed to buy quite a few new things today and it’s not like it’s breaking the bank or anything we are also paying off o...

January 19, 2017

Another Cup in Dead Words

I have stopped writing, I don’t know why. Maybe it’s I’m emotionally tapped. I don’t recharge myself enough and I am sorely in need of recharging lately. I don’t read enough, play enough, laugh ...

January 18, 2017

Anti-Social in Dead Words

I don’t know how it happened, maybe slowly ? Maybe it came quick like a storm. Fever for a temper, I can’t stand other people. I panic when I am near crowds, panic because I am drained by simply...

January 18, 2017

Crazy Idea in Dead Words

I keep thinking about where I want to go from here and I keep coming back to this one crazy idea. At least it feels crazy to me. I miss art. I miss the feel of plaster, the meditative sanding of ...

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