Johnny Carcinogen

You all make me physically ill.

TP PLZ

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Entries 248

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March 13, 2015

Pratchett in Chunky giblets

So. Sir Terry Pratchett has died. This has affected me more than any other death this year. I learned to read through The Colour of Magic back in the 90’s. I’ve read every book he’s written, I’ve...


Randal Graves: Since when is it a crime to say “porch monkey”? Becky: Oh, since, I don’t know, forever?! Randal Graves: Why? Dante Hicks: Because porch monkey is a racial slur against black peopl...


March 06, 2015

Mobile app in Chunky giblets

Dear god, Pb, a mobile app. SERIOUSLY.


Christ. Not wanting people to steal your product, I get it. But this “5 computers only” thing is a nightmare, especially since I’ve forgotten to “de-authorize” two of them already. What a load of...


March 05, 2015

Back in Brighton! in Chunky giblets

Dunno why, but oh well. Ugh, though, I am hungover. Gonna give sobriety a try for a while. I scored £65 last night, which amounts to about $100 in American, give or take a buck. Which wasn’t too ...


March 04, 2015

Wut in Chunky giblets

How, jesus, how the fuck did I end up in Reading? Shiiiiiiit. Didn’t think I drank that much at all last night, but here I am. And there goes my battery. More later.


Utterly and thoroughly bored. It’s Saturday night and I’m currently holed up in an abandoned tent somewhere in the woods in Bournemouth. It’s not waterproof so I will probably get soaked (it’s ju...


February 28, 2015

Screwed in Chunky giblets

And then some. Strap in, you ain’t gonna believe this one. I, in my infinite wisdom, decided to stash my rucksack in order to go drinking unencumbered.  I think you know where this is going. Luc...


Well now. I’ve got two bottles of cheap plonk bought from Tesco and I’m feelin’ fine. I’m writing this out on my iPod’s Notes app, and I’ll copypaste it whenever I’m online next. This is handy as...


February 24, 2015

What now? in Chunky giblets

I’m in Salisbury, with the intent of heading to Bournemouth, perhaps. I don’t really know what I’m doing, if truth be told. I’m at this stage where plans are for other people. I should really try...


February 23, 2015

12? 13? Oh whatever in Chunky giblets

Well. Turns out that going legit is more expensive than I thought. An iTunes card costs a minimum of fifteen quid. Not currently in my budget. Still, it’s my birthday in a few weeks, so if anyone...


February 23, 2015

11. What up. in Chunky giblets

Hey, so, been a little while. My iPod died a horrible death. Luckily, that very same night I found an iPod Touch on a park bench, so I’m back online again - huzzah. Autocorrect is a faggot but at...


February 14, 2015

10. Wotta week. in Chunky giblets

Jesus Wept, where to begin. Kay, you know this weird fucking legal high going around at the moment known simply as “spice”? Here, have a look at this, but don’t expect any real-world info, since ...


February 11, 2015

9. Jumble of Thoughts in Chunky giblets

My deviated septum appears to be getting worse. I’d be worried about a tumor or something if the other side wasn’t so concave. I hope this isn’t something I’ll need correcting at some point, but ...


February 10, 2015

8. Quickie in Chunky giblets

Only got a few minutes so let’s make this brief. Still in Brighton, got a nasty cold, almost got my phone unlocked (but needs a SIM, no getting around that), so there’s that. Got some great tunes...


I’ve gotta go someplace I’ve never been before. The wanderlust is acting up. Problem is, this country is so fucking depressing right now. I’m having a hard time justifying my own existence. Nothi...


February 07, 2015

6. Fucking *badass*. in Chunky giblets

So I bumped into Wozzer and we ended up embarking upon a pub crawl that spanned three towns. I found an iPhone 5 on the bus, with no contacts on the SIM card or the phone and no pictures or anyth...


January 31, 2015

5. Unreality in Chunky giblets

So. She dumped me. Oh, it was amicable enough, I guess, but the downshot of this is that I am homeless again. I’m doing okay. A few false starts (such as me spending two weeks off my head on var...


Have you noticed this current trend? This “X Challenge” thing? Listen, sheep, let me clue you in on something. It’s not a challenge if the thing you are “challenged” (quotation marks because fuc...


January 19, 2015

3. Crazy Shit in Chunky giblets

So, according to Oxfam, the so-called “1%” will own as much wealth as half of the rest of the world by next year. The “1%”, in case anyone was wondering, makes up 85 people. That’s not a lot of p...


January 18, 2015

INTERMISSION in Chunky giblets


Every time someone mentions OpenDiary on Prosebox, an angel commits hara kiri. OpenDiary OpenDiary OpenDiary OpenDiary OpenDiary. Giving up smoking is one of the hardest things I have ever atte...


January 18, 2015

1. The Point in Chunky giblets

Let’s see… woke up, tried not to vomit, worried a tooth for a while, played some video-games, waited for contentment. Ain’t gonna find it, so I set off for the shop. People around. Jesus, I hate ...


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