Echoes to the evolution

Some kind of wanderer who finds solace in the absurd.

Entries 135

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Cloaked in a coat of anxiety today. Such an utterly useless emotions for daily life. Fight or flight, I get it. But for daily machinations of the weekday grind - its purpose serve nothing other t...


Guys, my best friend on TedX - talking about her circus school for kids with Autism. If you’ve known me for years, you’ll know her as Mouse. We have held each other through so much heartache and ...


Thumpiddy thump thump THUD. Sounds like an apt description of my heart when my mind wanders about for a slice of time, contemplating my future moves for my career. How if I was asked if I was a ...


August 09, 2017

flow free. in Crossing the void

Sometimes I forget that I used to come here, to download my brain and its woes. Somewhere along the way I ended up trading that for a counsellor, which makes no sense whatsoever. It has been and ...


I’d promised myself to commit to writing every day for 30 days. Just try one thing, for 30 days and stick to it. Know that you can complete something. That was 3 days ago and alas, I am already d...


June 10, 2017

40th. in Crossing the void

Today would have been their 40th wedding anniversary. Stamped dates in time like anniversaries have such an odd effect, where you are involuntarily spun back in time and place. Dad is incredibly...


Tomorrow, the southern hemisphere marks the day to celebrate Mothers. I promised myself that I would pummel letters in to words onto keyboards and on to screens to try to section off the swirl of...


Thought that I had it nailed really. I think, however, that perhaps I just switched scenery and climate once more and dragged the same stuff along with me. I guess that’s what happen when your in...


So, I landed a job in Sydney (which is about 900km from hometown Gold Coast). Its a changing of the guard once again. This time back on southern hemisphere soil. It’s a risk, really. It means th...


I’m flooded by a bit of grief today. Its not just the fact that its Mums birthday I don’t think. Or that is easter, or that such ticks across the calendar always remind of where I have been in t...


EDITED … This was a draft entry that I wrote some time ago … and stopped mid point. Can’t recall way. Lots has happened since then. Some confronting, some painful and some happy and completely u...


And also unexpected and glorious. Last night I had deep talks with Bachelor number 2. In between silly sexting and banter he dropped in that I should break it off with farmer and date him instea...


I just finished a phone call with the farmer. He had gone to his sister place to paint her walls as a housewarming gift to her, and was standing there in his jocks listening to love songs on the ...


So I spoke to him yesterday afternoon about it and he said that he had not seen my messages until lunchtime - to which he replied immediately. And that he hadn’t been anywhere since he last spoke...


February 06, 2017

Little green light. in Crossing the void

I am not good at relationships in any way shape or form. Quite ludicrous really. I suppose that this is what happens after 6 years of running rampant across the globe with no desire for long term...


The passage of time is a funny and fickle thing. The rain beats down in that charismatic Australian way of a day spent waiting for the break in the sky to be rewarded with heavy long hits across ...


It’s a small thing. Maybe its a big thing. I suppose it’s a big thing. But I realise that my entire life I have been doing things for Mum. My motivation to live, to chase adventure, to travel an...


I’m really, a mess. I am the most vilnerable that I have ever been in my life and I am not handling it too well I suppose. I’m caught between so many different worlds and realilities and concept...


December 25, 2016

Christmas. in Crossing the void

screaming to the void. some see the lights flicker and and swear its you. I smile and nod, the heart empty, now in that hollow and harrowed comprehension that there really is nothing after de...


December 16, 2016

Poised. in Crossing the void

More and more I realise that I am like her. I never truly saw it before. There are moments, knowing that I too traversed the world as she once did. the cheekiness with men. But growing up we were...


December 11, 2016

touching base. in Crossing the void

I suppose its apt that its all white now. I’d felt the need to make that change. The work is coming an end. I was in a bad way in the last entry sorry. I was uncertain of everything, feeling a fa...


December 07, 2016

That what we become in Crossing the void

It’s such a strange thing. That criss-cross between the worlds where you step from an insane fury, fear driven working day of 8am to 3am, paralysed to your chair with anxiety gripping your throat...


I waver on the edge of uncertainty. Possibly insanity most days. I feel the bite of the black dog nipping at my heels and I kick it square in its mouth. Knowing full well that it has drawn blood...


October 20, 2016

It's October. in Crossing the void

Too much too soon and its just a wish wash mish mash of days passing in to seasons passing in to time passing in to thoughts of the future and a confusion … without her. work This job that I hav...


September 29, 2016

Blurred lines in Crossing the void

Time has passed. Etched itself across my skin and scars and dragged its weary feet backwards and forwards across my mind. My pendulum swung chaotically from side to side without a regular tick t...


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