bees (he/him)
my thoughts are as volatile as alcohol and so is my existence the day I go under there wont even be a ripple on the pond to remind you of me
Entries 71
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Hey, my friend in My Life
Hey… I heard the news. I just wanted to call because I care about you a lot. I honestly dont know the right words, but I didnt want to say nothing… How are you doing today?
She came through my life like a squall. Sunday night now, dead quiet. I wonder where the winds of change will take me next.
Where the Light Falls in My Life
Me being me, and you being you, each with our own complexities, slowly revealed when the light falls on them.
Crossroads in My Life
We both said we stand at a crossroads. Shall we walk a while together?
Saturation. in My Life
Tonight feels different. Mercy mercy me… No tremor waiting to break. Just a steady warmth spreading through the room. If I close my eyes now, I don’t see fragments. I see space. Life feels off...
Seven Rules of Life fo Me in My Life
• Guard your nervous system. If it keeps you tense for weeks, its too expensive. • Choose people who make you exhale. If you breathe easier around them, invest. If not, don’t romanticize it. •...
Dinner for Two in My Life
There was a moment where we both forgot we were sitting across from each other. It was a wonderful evening, somewhere during the five-course teppanyaki dinner. We had time. Time to talk about o...
Lonely is a sound you can hear. Its something sticky on your skin. It fills the room, settles between the shadows. But, it gives you time to breathe again. Still, it is lonely. Some music unde...
At first the quiet was spacious. Then it became deep. I can feel how easily depth turns into an abyss. The quiet still nourishes me, but it has begun to develop gravity. I dont want to lose the...
Casa Rosso in My Life
Tonight I had my first official friend over for dinner in my house. It is a friend I really love. We spoke about our struggles in life. I appreciate him. I have written about him before, “Moonl...
Coming home in My Life
Flying back, I had the red wine. I always do, a lot, because its free. Some old student mentality still lives in me, I guess. I picked an aisle seat. I like not feeling trapped. I like being abl...
I meant to download my entries after my vacation. I kept putting it off, like it would still be there when I was ready. Now i’s gone. Im sad about it. More than I expected. My friend Cassandra...
it hurts i have such a desperate longing for you to be happy as the seasons are changing and autumn leaves turn yellow once more i can’t help but feel a quiet desolation as we are drifting apar...
D(eparture) Day in My Life
S gets her keys on Monday. She’s doing some painting, having someone put in a new floor. I won’t see any of it, I dont care. Ordered a new vacuum cleaner today.
Same Sky, Different Storm in My Life
S is moving out in October. Times creeping, and I dont know how I will feel when it hits. I tell myself I will be okay, but emotions are like the weather, hard to predict. Sunny one minute, then...
Same Sky, Different Storm in My Life
S is moving out in October. Times creeping, and I dont know how I will feel when it hits. I tell myself I will be okay, but emotions are like the weather, hard to predict. Sunny one minute, then...
Its Been a while in My Life
Anybody know what happened to H. Majesty T. Mudfish Queen? Its been some time and I am trying to reconnect....
Project Valhalla – And So It Started in My Life
It took two Saturdays – grinding down the old balcony wood, then sealing it with protective oil – but it was all worth it. The wood is just so spectacularly beautiful. This is Project Valhall...
Mushroom Fridays in My Life
Clinical Report – Session: Mushroom Friday – June 20, 2025 Subject: XXX van XXX Session Context: Psychedelic self-exploration via psilocybin (approx. 15g fresh Mother’s Finest strain), accompani...
Just to be, enough in My Life
Isn’t the world beautiful? The street I live on, with its green. How could I ever have thought of leaving this wonderful place? Just to be here, to feel the quiet of leaves above the soft rumble...
Ginger Bug in My Life
When I listen to Eric Saties his music, everything else becomes quiet… The rumble, the distractions, the shoulds, they fall away. And when I really listen, every note stands on its own. No harmo...
She's Leaving in My Life
When I said I couldn’t give more, she called it “extortion.” That hit hard. I think we’ve passed the Rubicon. Not out of anger. Just… something’s shifted. I did what I could. I thought we were...
Talking points for Sunday in My Life
Set the Boundaries: - I’ll continue covering the bills, and in return, you handle the household tasks. Define the Limits: - Beyond that, let’s keep it simple, no extras or additional financial ...
Talking points for Sunday in My Life
Set the Boundaries: - I’ll continue covering the bills, and in return, you handle the household tasks. Define the Limits: - Beyond that, let’s keep it simple, no extras or additional financial ...
Seperating in My Life
When we went to Bert for the second time on Tuesday, I already knew the chances of me and him really talking about my emotions were about as likely as him pulling a rabbit out of his cap. It fel...
