Entries 21

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Still here. Still breathing. One step at a time. Am I still depressed? Ohhhhhh, so fucking bad. This has been rough. I’m not sure my thoughts have ever been this bad or went on for this long to ...

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Another day has gone and went. I’m pretty frustrated I’m struggling so much. I can generally push the bad away and bounce back. Out of sight, out of mind. Fake it until you make it. If I live i...

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I’m still here. Still simply putting one foot in front of the other. Doing my daily routine because it’s that - simply a routine, a habit. It’s what I do. I only spent 3 full days in bed last w...

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Literally. I’m simply spiraling and falling into so many pieces right now it’s not even funny. I did just text my therapist to see if she has any appointments today. Just waiting for her to repl...

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I’m not even sure which way to go tonight. So many thoughts and so much overthinking. My mind makes me crazy sometimes. Nick’s seemed too busy to talk the last couple days. Basically since I le...

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My anxiety is pretty awful tonight. I feel like I should be doing a million things as time is so limited and I’m so busy the next few months. Yet, I’m just sitting here. Lost in my thoughts. I ...

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Well, I made it back home and back to reality about 1 p.m. today. After 7 nights with Nick being back on my own isn’t that great. I really enjoy his company most of the time and just being with ...

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Currently, I’m just filled with anxiety. Spinning in circles. So much to do, so little time. Constant fears and worries. Overwhelmed. Stressed. Overthinking. We leave for Vegas in 3 days. Getti...

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It leaves me stunned how some people just stick with me. Some losses or endings hurt more than others. Once in awhile you meet a person you simply can’t forget. That’s Joe. Completely and utter...

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Other than being sick it was a really nice weekend. I’ve had this stupid cold for about a week now. My throat is so sore and my nose is so stuffy. I think this is making my sore throat worse as ...

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Haven’t felt like I’ve had much to say the last couple days. My mind remains all over the place and can’t seem to settle on anything peaceful. Just constant worries and fears. I’m starting to wo...

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My anxiety is awful tonight. Over thinking. Emotions everywhere. I didn’t think it would be THIS hard to welcome a new baby girl into my life. Where to even begin? I’ve been silently contemplat...

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So thankful it’s the end of the day. My day job was busy with meetings. Then night job steady with customers and a decent amount of tables. Not really busy, but steady. Now my feet hurt, I’m tir...

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Maybe tonight I’ll sleep. Maybe. Last night wasn’t very good either. I ended up taking the other half of my pill and eventually fell asleep. Just to keep waking up with a stuffy nose and sore th...

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As I feared I slept awful last night. Even worse than the night before. Now I’m basically running on a night of no sleep and a night of very little sleep. I feel like I’m on drugs and just vibra...

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It’s going to be a long week this week. Sometimes I think I just sit here and do literally nothing. Why do I think that? It’s like any downtime at all and I’m suddenly thinking I have all this f...

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I’m up way earlier today than yesterday. Sigh. I wanted to sleep the day away but I obviously I slept too much yesterday. Thus, I was up by 8:30 a.m. Gonna make for a long day. Got caught up ...

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I’ve survived the day alone. Mostly. I say mostly as the intrusive thoughts are real. It’s amazing how much I can overthink when left alone with my thoughts. It’s somewhat super frustrating. I k...

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Another day. How exciting. I’ve been trying to convince myself to reframe my mind lately and find the positive in things. It just feels like everyday is a repeat - Work, Clean, Sleep. Over and ...

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Somedays I have so much to say but don’t even know where to start. The house is so quiet with everyone gone. My brain just runs away on me. I sure miss the days of a house filled with teenagers....

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Geez, it’s been a little while since I’ve written an update. This will be quick, but I have some time while I’m at work so figured I’d do something. I’m down to just 2 more business days and I’m...

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