Philomath

Just a 22 year old trying to find myself in the world around me. Avid reader and occasional writer.

There is a rainstorm within me, from which will bloom the most beautiful flowers you've ever seen

Entries 67

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September 24, 2023

September 24 in The Beginning

I think the Fall weather is slowly creeping in. At least what constitutes as “Fall weather” down here in southern America. Of course, it can never replicate those beautiful autumn days in the Nor...


I’ve always been a very sensitive person, I’ve always tried to impress people, I don’t like confrontation and I feel like a failure when I let someone down. This has been me my entire life. I hat...


September 03, 2023

II in The Beginning

I just learned that my friend’s grandmother passed away earlier in the day. I gave him my condolences and told him that if he ever needed to talk, I was here. I started to think back about my own...


September 02, 2023

September 2, 2023 in The Beginning

I come on here, partly because I feel as though it’s my obligation to check in and post. Yet, eveytime I do, I truly having nothing remarkable to say. The days and weeks pass by me in such a daze...


August 18, 2023

8/18/23 in The Beginning

I walked around campus for around an hour. First to escape the heat and then to escape the rain. I walked around aimlessly at the library trying to find something to read. I picked up a collectio...


July 24, 2023

07/24/2023 in The Beginning

It’s a rainy day here in the city. The rain always reminds of the Leonard Cohen song, “Famous Blue Raincoat”. It’s been so hot recently that we really needed the rain. If not for the environ...


July 17, 2023

7/17/23 in The Beginning

Almost 2 in the morning here, Eastern Standard Time. Sitting alone in my own personal haven, with a dim light and music fading in and out between my ears. (Bach sent us heaven through audible fre...


July 04, 2023

7/4/2023 in The Beginning

The Fourth is a weird holiday for me. I’m grateful for our independence and how relatively safe I am living here. However, I can’t help but think about the destruction and lives destroyed by our ...


June 30, 2023

06/30/23 in The Beginning

So here I am writing, in the early morning hours. Awake, fully alert, bored, and slightly on edge. Nothing out of the ordinary. I tell myself that writing today is useless, I have nothing of inte...


June 07, 2023

June 6 2023 in The Beginning

I have a feeling I won’t sleep tonight. I don’t want to sleep tonight, although it’s not like I’ve been doing anything worthwhile in the night to excuse myself of getting proper sleep. Sometimes ...


Life is a strange thing isn’t it? The idea that we, or you, or me exist for a moment and then presumably never again is such a strange thought. It makes me wonder why existence happens at all. Bi...


May 01, 2023

May 1, 2023 in The Beginning

I have always felt a wave of disappointment wash over me whenever I am unable to do something for someone if they ask me. A neighbor had asked if I were to be able to watch over their dog and I t...


May 01, 2023

May 1, 2023 in The Beginning

I have always felt a wave of disappointment wash over me whenever I am unable to do something for someone if they ask me. A neighbor had asked if I were to be able to watch over their dog and I t...


April 19, 2023

4/19/2023 in The Beginning

I haven’t been on here in quite a while. Days go on and they go by so quickly before I even have time to do anything with it. I wish I could stop time and not worry about not doing anything. I’m ...


March 20, 2023

March 20 in The Beginning

Just came back from a week in England, already missing it. The memories I made there will forever be with me and a part of me will never be the same as I am desperate to relive the feelings those...


March 08, 2023

Walkin Blues in The Beginning

Sitting down on the bench overlooking the pond listening to some Robert Johnson. Thinking about how fast time passes and how our life is just a small spect on the giant cosmic time-line. Weird to...


March 07, 2023

March 7 2023 in The Beginning

I just finished having a discussion with a very good old friend of mine. We were discussing the fact that everyone sees you differently then you see yourself, whether it be a physical attribute o...


March 01, 2023

March 1 in The Beginning

A wave of happiness as hit me today, I’m extremely happy, I feel great about myself. I think it’s the weather. The sun is shining brightly, not too hot but enough to feel its warmth. There’s no w...


Maybe I suffer from depression, I dunno. Are lingering thoughts about death make one more likely to have depression? I’m not interested in killing myself, because I do really enjoy life. I think ...


February 15, 2023

Wednesday Blues in The Beginning

Today I’ve just been doing schoolwork and figured that later today I’ll be doing some research on some philosophical/theological topics. For my own personal use, not for academic reasons. The la...


January 23, 2023

January 23 2023 in The Beginning

School is going well, still finding the groove between balancing work and education. A few days ago, I was sitting on the bench that overlooks the pond behind the school and a man came up to me t...


So far, the new year has been uneventful to the point that it reaches bleakness. I had a job interview earlier in the afternoon, I think it went well enough. It’ll keep me busy along with my scho...


I have always been captivated by space. I could stare endlessly at the night sky, staring up into a world that is infinite, one that will exist forever when I am long gone. To be able to stare at...


Sitting in my room, bored like usual. I sit and pass the time not doing much, waiting for the next day to come to repeat the same process of boredom. Nothing really seems to excite me, no passion...


From a very young age, I’ve always had a hard time trying to find my identity or role in life. I take a look to my peers and seeing how they already understand their own personal goals and unders...


Books 1


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