Entries 20

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I don’t write much anymore because I’m a bit paranoid about Internet safety. I feel like I have a future now and I have to safeguard it with all I’ve got.

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Drunkenly, a little bit because I mean it, a little bit because I know it’ll mean something, I say, “Please don’t leave me.”

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Now that I’m turning 20 in less than an hour, I can’t not-so-jokingly tell boys they’re fucking a teenager anymore and that makes me a little sad.

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I’m heading off to London in a few days with only myself, a few wads of cash, and a book.

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I look at my screen and I don’t know what to say.

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He seems like the kind of guy who got beat up in high school and, now, here he is, pouring Trader Joes wine to a minor and bashing a college degree even though he knows I’m a student.

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but I think I have a crush on my English professor.

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You’ll never really be unique but isn’t it kind of reassuring knowing that there’s always going to be someone somewhere who has felt this way too?

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I’m just going through the motions of playing every character Lana del Rey has ever been.

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“You like it rough, don’t you?” I almost wrecked on the way home.

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I’m trying to write more regularly. I think I just like whatever boy is paying me the least attention at the time.

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Why can’t I write anymore? I used to be so passionate about words.

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I don’t know what I feel anymore, except anxious.

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I wrote a long entry but I’ve erased it. I’m dull now.

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I guess summer is as good a time as any to be broken-hearted

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He won't leave. I'm too weak to go. I screw over everyone and it's starting to blow up in my face and my ticket isn't fucking guaranteed.

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He's probably, definitely, more likely than not, emotionally abusive. But I think I might probably, definitely, more likely than not, be a complete fucking masochist.

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And then he left me.

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I can't stop smoking cigarettes. I forgot how to write.

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I've been sober one month today which is by far the longest I've gone since the first time I got drunk.

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