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I get mad at him when he falls asleep downstairs. When he’s hard to wake in the morning. When he doesn’t turn on the lights when he gets home. When he gets cranky because he misses my touch. But ...


They say that a “blended” family begins to feel harmonious and connected after 7 years. We have 8 years until my oldest stepkid is out of the house. I’ve only been doing this for 3 years, and thi...


and find I’m on the more familiar roads. I got a darkness wrapped inside me, but now it ain’t so hard to let it go… So keep a candle burning in the window; I’m almost home. Yesterday I felt prett...


Slept in today, woke up with a headache, went shopping, felt like six tons of shit. Decided that once E is in his own room, I will start doing my usual wakeup routine (open blinds, wake-up light,...


I’m going to make an effort to write more frequently in order to unpack the shit going on in my head. Maybe with more introspection, I can get a handle on some of these things that live beneath m...


September 03, 2018

one of yours in timorous soul wide awake

I’m so tired that I don’t even want to write this. Usually, when something is wrong, the words come tumbling out like a river, aching to bubble over the restraints that I keep them in, threatenin...


I’ve gotten a few people wishing me a “happy first Mother’s Day” today. It’s been sweet. But also bittersweet. It’s as if the previous years, when I was a stepmom but not yet a bio-mom, made me u...


If you don’t give your child room to fail, you’re also not giving them room to succeed. They’re one and the same. I want to jot that down to remember it. I was just talking to my husband about ho...


April 22, 2018

phoenix in timorous soul wide awake

Sex after childbirth is so much better than before childbirth. How can that be? I tore muscle down there. I had stitches. I have a scar. But you see, that scar is what makes it better. No, not in...


I was reading about baby sleep patterns recently while looking for ideas to get my son to sleep (my son! I have one of those now! holy shit) and came across an idea I hadn’t seen before. It posit...


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