Entries 22
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Anticipation
I am in a holding pattern. I have a follow up appointment with my new rheumatologist on April 8th. I am not sure how having an actual diagnosis is going to affect me. I have tried many many thin...
Mixed Bag of Nuts.
My mind has been jumbled lately. Just existing. Not having the drive or energy to strive for anything more than basic upkeep on myself and the apartment. I have been constantly stressed out. Hav...
My Cosmos is Mine.
I have been checking out from the internet. Lord knows I have put a lot of effort into finding new friends online, hoping that the connections would extend to real life, but it has not happened....
Condensed Weekend
I find myself feeling more and more isolated due to my disabilities. The constant pain makes doing the simplest things almost impossible. Running errands is a sure fire way to land myself in bed...
Indifferent Anniversary
Yesterday was our 2nd anniversary. I didn’t even realize until the afternoon. I walked in the bedroom where Rick was watching tv and told him. I knew he already had plans with his daughter, plan...
Tuesdays
My last entry left off on LAST Tuesday. Tuesday afternoon, we headed to the food pantry to grab a few groceries. We got a lot of good stuff to hold us over until I either made a sale, or Rick’s ...
Last Week
There are days where I feel like I am dying. When I become exhausted by walking a hundred feet, where every step is met with severe pain or my knees buckling. My energy is always low. Weird symp...
Wednesday
In spite of everything, my life is good. I have awesome friends, a dream fiancé, a beautiful apartment, my daughter is stable and happy in Seattle… I had a very good therapy session today, and o...
The weekend
We had a good weekend, mostly. Saturday, we got up early and prepped lunch to take with us on our outing day. I knew it was going to be a long day, and I also knew that we have like NO extra mon...
What's done in the dark...
TW/CW: Self Injury/Suicide There is a woman on Threads who claimed to be a medic working in Minneapolis and saw Alex Pretti die was posting dozens of suicidal messages. People jumped in to help...
We are going to be friends...
My therapist has been suggesting that I put myself out there online, posting about seeking new friends. I was planning on a post yesterday, but I first did a quick gratitude ritual with an offer...
Tuesday, please be kind to me
I panicked myself into exhaustion yesterday with the looming apartment inspection. I did not know WHO would be doing the inspection, so I made sure that everything was as clean and tidy as possi...
A night at the theater
I had a great time at the theater yesterday afternoon. I was having stomach issues right as we left the house to go to the play. I told Rick if I hadn’t committed to going, I would’ve asked him ...
Sunday
Yesterday, I felt the shift. The first domino being tipped. People are waking up. While this is VERY SCARY, and I know there is worse coming, I believe there is a light at the end of a very long...
Temporary
I helped a stranger on the internet change their mind about ending their own life two days ago. It was an all day interaction. High stress, calling authorities, messaging with others trying to h...
Working on it
I have felt like death warmed over for quite a while. Vomited yesterday morning. But I figured out the common denominator with the instances of being sick. Unfortunately, that issue is Ambien. T...
Ms. Shirley Got Her Wings
Today, we lost one of the helpers. Here in Los Angeles, Shirley Raines was a tireless advocate for the homeless. Providing meals, haircuts, health and beauty products, and friendship to THOUSAND...
Just another day...
Today is a new day. I am feeling better today. But I am convinced that the only way I am going to get through the fall of the United States is by going back on anti-depressants. I have made a va...
the Invisible Woman
I feel like I am enveloping into myself and disappearing. And no one seems to notice. It’s hard to feel like much matters. There’s just me. In the apartment, day after day. I take a walk daily ...
Always catching up
I have been writing entries, getting halfway through, getting distracted, and then walking away. I always come back, sometimes the next day, to finish it up. I just came back to an entry to clos...
Rain on Parade Day
We live in a little community called Highland Park, and our apartment is next to the bridge leading to South Pasadena. I love Pasadena. It is such a beautiful city, rich in history and amazing a...
Junk
I have decided I want to get into junk journaling. I have long been into scrapbooking and also have been creating collages for as long as I can remember, so I thought I could maybe blend the two...
Book Description
Ranting, raving, bragging, and oversharing.
