I’ve always wondered if I’ll ever be worthy of love, I may not have the best personality, body, smile and I must admit I’m not perfect, I don’t think anyone is.. but the thing is, I feel like there’s something inside of me that refuses to believe I’ll ever find love.
I’ve had “taking stages” with people various of times, and ngl it felt nice to feel as if you matter and that there’s someone at the end of the day that is waiting for your message/Call, but deep inside of me, EVERYTIME! I would start overthinking about how I don’t want this person to get more attached to me because I feel that I’m a mess, if I can’t accept the way I’m, how would they do that? I find my self in a never ending cycle of overthinking, specially those nights that tend to be quieter than usual, when the room’s dark and your brain starts playing you, I find my self staring at the ceiling wondering if I’ll ever find a person that will make me feel okay with myself, just way I’m! Not making me have the need to look at myself and wonder, overthink, worry, etc. A person that will love every inch of me, sometimes I feel like I’m asking for too much and maybe that’s why most of the times I have this really annoying feeling engraved in my chest that I’ll end up alone, but we’ll see how it goes….
-Mar