So we were friends for 3yrs, met in college and it was like that instant connection. She was my first bestfriend. We used to share everything with each other. We used to have alot of guys talk and all especially about her talking stages.But as college ended our priorities shifted. I became more focused on my career. Those talking stages for her, didn’t feel that interesting as they use to. Earlier we used to say that this bond is forever. But this year things started changing. My career pressure increases, she was still in her chill zone. Whenever we met, all we talked about was her talking stages and it was tiering. It felt like wastage of time. I had more important thoughts in my head. Whenever i used to talk to her about my career pressure nd all she used to just reply with, it’s okay, you’ll be fine, don’t worry and then deflected the topic to something else. I’m a nurturer by nature, so i used to care alot about her in that older sister/motherly way. I was protective of her as well, always tried to be there for her, treated her problems as my own.
We had some arguments in few months. I’ve become distant coz i have this issue, i can’t share easily nd those fight had impacted me. Recently, she got a new boyfriend and new friends, she started replying very late. For 2-3 months it felt like i was just responding to her texts uk, nothing sharing of my own. These days i had alot of stress due to my exams and my sister’s wedding. I was feeling a little insecure with her new friends as well. I was dubious, if I’m in the friendship just because I’m a good listener. She herself told me, once when we had a fight, she was like i was going crazy coz i wanna tell my things and no one was there, that i never judge her and all. And in the past, people had used me coz i was a good listener nd then left me. So i was a little worried about it.
One night she called me and ask me to cover for her. She wanted to spend the night with ger boyf and at her home she told her parents that she was coming to my house. Now, the society here is very conservative, if someone finds out that a girl spend a night out with a guy, it’s not a good thing. Anyways i told her, okay. Then she asked to ask to my elder sister to impersonate my mother and talk to her mother on the call. It was risky, my parents’ room is next to ours . My sister said no to that. Then i talked to her mother on the call, and her mother knew about her boyfriend, she saw a picture of them. She was skeptical that she was going out with her boyf. Her mother asked me on call, that we are not allowing her to go, what would she do according to u, i said she shouldn’t. Then the call got cut. I thought she’ll not go now after this.
Then later on, i got mssgs from her, she went anyways, and then she was asking me to call her mother and say that she is with me. I said no, coz it was wrong and too risky. Her parents already doubt her, and the whole responsibility was on me since she said my name. I didn’t even trust that guy completely. So i asked her to go home. But she was adamant about it. Then she asked me to sent her a voice note saying that she’s with me and all. I did. I was very worried. I’m not good at lying, I’ve never lied this big. Whole night i couldn’t sleep, whole night. Next day she asked me, so i told her that what u did was wrong according to me. Her mother genuinely sounded so worried on the call. Then she said, don’t tell me about my mother. Then she said from this i know I can’t rely on you, i can’t trust you. You were only thinking about yourself. I kept asking you but no..u wanted to act like my mother.
Those words really hurt me. Like really bad. I spend the night awake worried about her. She accused me being selfish, wasn’t she being selfish too.
Then i just told her, i am too motherly, but i can’t change it. In a friendship u should be able to rely on the other person, clearly I’m not that, so ya take care. She replied with i know, u too.
Then she sent me text hours later, that she knows i care about her but she really needed support that time and i was not there for her and she was really hurt.
But i hadn’t replied anything, she first acknowledged the end of friendship by saying i know, she literally said that I’m unreliable and her messages about me being unreliable did something to me, i lost something for her and I know our bond won’t be the same after this.