Its 6:02am, ive been awake since yesterday and cant help but to think. I have a strong feeling that i need more in my life, right now i feel as if i serve no purpose. Im starting to get depressed again and i have to pull my way out of it before it goes bad, i have to start socializing more and getting myself outside and then hopefully ill be better. Theirs someone i have in my life that i love so much and has been helping me as much as he can, but he lives 900 miles away so theres not much he could do. I miss him, more than anything, pretty sure i am the happiest when hes around, a phone call, text message or some stupid instagram reel from him is truly the highlight of my day. I wish i could see him, but as soon as i have to go back home from seeing him, i feel even worse. Im trying to make something out of myself one day. I want to be a veterinarian some day, ive always loved animals as long as i could remember. Ive gotten myself kicked out of school because i missed so much after my father passed away, but im trying to figure out a way i can get something in order to be someone he would be proud of. Im glad i at least have motivation now, before i didnt want to do anything but be alone but now the thought of being alone terrifies me. I just hope the boy 900 miles away does not get tired of me, i hope he believes that i could be something, i hope he believes im worth waiting for, and i just hope he could be right and proud in the end.