Yk, I don’t understand what to feel. I miss the person, I miss her so much.. to be honest. But at the same time, I am withdrawing my feelings. I want to distance. ‘Cuz another time might come when she leave, when she need more time for herself. And somehow, it makes me feel like.. I’m not really part of her daily life, which is a fact. I am just mere online friends who mean something to her, but not someone who’s part of her personal daily life. It seem, I feel, I know her, but at the same time I don’t. I don’t even know her real name. For all this years we’re friends, we’re only talking about stuffs, our feelings, emotions, what goes in our life, etc. but not really about very personal things. And at some point, I feel indifferent to her. This is just what I feel. And, wouldn’t it be better for us to improve? But I know it will take much time, and that doesn’t really matter much. I’m kind of .. sick, and sad.

Perhaps, I shouldn’t think much about it. It doesn’t matter anyway.