Entries 12
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Yes. Oui.
“But what kind of high? High, I think, like someone you love coming tip on the. porch, grinning, grinning, after three hard sets of tennis, victorious tennis, to ask you if you saw that last shot...
Sunday Blues
I think I need to start free-writing again. I obsess so much over improving my writing for my graduate work and I hadn’t considered the fact that free-writing might be a less strenuous help. I do...
I never meant to brag...
I haven't written in a while. For a good reason, though. Everything that came crashing down around me over winter quarter has been completely turned around and things are so wonderful now. It's a...
Top Five
Things I miss about YOU. I miss the way he walks. The way he walks around bars, the streets. The way he walks a few steps ahead of everyone else. He takes long strides and cocks his head back l...
V-day
I had a weird weekend. I don't know how else to describe it. Friday was absolutely ridiculous. I spent most of the day trying not to think about how two years ago I ran into you .. and her.. on v...
I still somehow hope I end up with you.
I went on a date friday night and it was pretty disappointing. First off, I just kept thinking the whole time, while I was half-ass getting ready, what I would wear and how I'd do my hair and m...
chopsticks.
Ugh, I'm so heartbroken today. It's awful. I've been dealing with this situation for months now and it just isn't getting any better. Initially I felt like I won. I left him. I ended things. He l...
You're in my veins, you fuck.
I can't focus on anything today. The last twenty-four hours have been a mind fuck. And my friends are so sick of talking to me about any of this. It's gotten to a point where I feel so helpless, ...
.
I can't breathe in this city without being reminded of you.
Daylight Savings
Often times when we have these long, late-night conversations, we talk about the first night we spent together... It was daylight savings 2011, and every year since, on daylight savings I feel a...
Never Enough
On the phone he told me that after three years he hasn't had enough of me. He said he often thinks about the months we spent seeing each other before I finally gave in. And how crazy it drove hi...
You're too sweet for Rock N' Roll
Today I remembered the time he called me at 4 am and we talked for four hours straight. He was just getting home from some after party club thing and I was just getting home from running around t...
Book Description
This time a year ago, I moved to spain and I wished with everything in my being that I would come back to my beloved city I had to leave behind, and he’d be waiting for me. He was. Kind of.
I spent six months in spain. Nothing, not spain, not even traveling around the world changed me more than the six months that followed my return. And now here I am sitting, naked, on my bathroom floor listening to sad songs by washed up pop punk bands and I finally lost almost everything I left behind a year ago, everything I thought I’d lose by going to spain, well, I managed to burn it to dust by my own devices.
I’m not a good person when it comes to love, relationships, etc. I’m heartless, and reckless, and selfish, and I don’t care. Never have. Never had to.
He had a girlfriend. They started dating the summer of 2012 when I was home in Colorado. He always hated when I went home. I was always seeing some Denver guy tatted up in some shitty band, and I never cared about this tall, blonde, pretentious little fuck, or his feelings for me. Not until I came back to Seattle, wounded from the loss of my most recent fling - This half-spanish half-french beautiful little badass drummer guy who did too much coke, and we spent too much time in the backseat of my car - I decided to entertain the idea of finally humoring this Seattle guy. He was totally not my type - edm groupie, talks too much, thinks he’s smarter than I am, no tattoos, no musical talent, did I mention he’s blonde? Aside from the blow he had nothing in common with my drummer guy. And I thought he was kinda laaaaaame. But whatever I was bored, and I had three months to tear it up in Seattle before I left for half a year. Couldn’t hurt right? Yeah, so, long story short, I found out about the girlfriend thing AFTER I’d let him spend the night, naturally. Like I cared, his problem. Not mine. Also, never stopped me before. See, I have a history with this kind of situation. I swear, I really was “born to be the other woman” (shout out to LDR, I get you girl.)
Fast forward a year and a half.. and here I am - grinding my teeth over this guy. I’ve really done it this time.
