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My Life

by bees

Entries 71

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2 hours ago

Hey, my friend

Hey… I heard the news. I just wanted to call because I care about you a lot. I honestly dont know the right words, but I didnt want to say nothing… How are you doing today?


March 15, 2026

Doldrums

She came through my life like a squall. Sunday night now, dead quiet. I wonder where the winds of change will take me next.


March 12, 2026

Where the Light Falls

Me being me, and you being you, each with our own complexities, slowly revealed when the light falls on them.


March 06, 2026

Crossroads

We both said we stand at a crossroads. Shall we walk a while together?


February 27, 2026

Saturation.

Tonight feels different. Mercy mercy me… No tremor waiting to break. Just a steady warmth spreading through the room. If I close my eyes now, I don’t see fragments. I see space. Life feels off...


February 22, 2026

Seven Rules of Life fo Me

• Guard your nervous system. If it keeps you tense for weeks, its too expensive. • Choose people who make you exhale. If you breathe easier around them, invest. If not, don’t romanticize it. •...


February 22, 2026

Dinner for Two

There was a moment where we both forgot we were sitting across from each other. It was a wonderful evening, somewhere during the five-course teppanyaki dinner. We had time. Time to talk about o...


February 06, 2026

Sproet

Lonely is a sound you can hear. Its something sticky on your skin. It fills the room, settles between the shadows. But, it gives you time to breathe again. Still, it is lonely. Some music unde...


January 30, 2026

Gravity

At first the quiet was spacious. Then it became deep. I can feel how easily depth turns into an abyss. The quiet still nourishes me, but it has begun to develop gravity. I dont want to lose the...


January 16, 2026

Casa Rosso

Tonight I had my first official friend over for dinner in my house. It is a friend I really love. We spoke about our struggles in life. I appreciate him. I have written about him before, “Moonl...


December 27, 2025

Coming home

Flying back, I had the red wine. I always do, a lot, because its free. Some old student mentality still lives in me, I guess. I picked an aisle seat. I like not feeling trapped. I like being abl...


December 27, 2025

OD died

I meant to download my entries after my vacation. I kept putting it off, like it would still be there when I was ready. Now i’s gone. Im sad about it. More than I expected. My friend Cassandra...


October 05, 2025

autumn

it hurts i have such a desperate longing for you to be happy as the seasons are changing and autumn leaves turn yellow once more i can’t help but feel a quiet desolation as we are drifting apar...


October 04, 2025

D(eparture) Day

S gets her keys on Monday. She’s doing some painting, having someone put in a new floor. I won’t see any of it, I dont care. Ordered a new vacuum cleaner today.


August 08, 2025

Same Sky, Different Storm

S is moving out in October. Times creeping, and I dont know how I will feel when it hits. I tell myself I will be okay, but emotions are like the weather, hard to predict. Sunny one minute, then...


August 08, 2025

Same Sky, Different Storm

S is moving out in October. Times creeping, and I dont know how I will feel when it hits. I tell myself I will be okay, but emotions are like the weather, hard to predict. Sunny one minute, then...


August 01, 2025

Its Been a while

Anybody know what happened to H. Majesty T. Mudfish Queen? Its been some time and I am trying to reconnect....


It took two Saturdays – grinding down the old balcony wood, then sealing it with protective oil – but it was all worth it. The wood is just so spectacularly beautiful. This is Project Valhall...


June 20, 2025

Mushroom Fridays

Clinical Report – Session: Mushroom Friday – June 20, 2025 Subject: XXX van XXX Session Context: Psychedelic self-exploration via psilocybin (approx. 15g fresh Mother’s Finest strain), accompani...


June 20, 2025

Just to be, enough

Isn’t the world beautiful? The street I live on, with its green. How could I ever have thought of leaving this wonderful place? Just to be here, to feel the quiet of leaves above the soft rumble...


June 13, 2025

Ginger Bug

When I listen to Eric Saties his music, everything else becomes quiet… The rumble, the distractions, the shoulds, they fall away. And when I really listen, every note stands on its own. No harmo...


June 06, 2025

She's Leaving

When I said I couldn’t give more, she called it “extortion.” That hit hard. I think we’ve passed the Rubicon. Not out of anger. Just… something’s shifted. I did what I could. I thought we were...


Set the Boundaries: - I’ll continue covering the bills, and in return, you handle the household tasks. Define the Limits: - Beyond that, let’s keep it simple, no extras or additional financial ...


Set the Boundaries: - I’ll continue covering the bills, and in return, you handle the household tasks. Define the Limits: - Beyond that, let’s keep it simple, no extras or additional financial ...


May 29, 2025

Seperating

When we went to Bert for the second time on Tuesday, I already knew the chances of me and him really talking about my emotions were about as likely as him pulling a rabbit out of his cap. It fel...


Book Description

Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows and in miseries.
On such a full sea are we now afloat,
And we must take the current when it serves,
Or lose our ventures.