No man ever lived never had experiments in his life. And as someone who is trying so hard to break free from depression, I am experimenting a few ideas to becoming my full self again. Coz that’s what it is, isn’t it? Depression.. an ever crippling antibody that eats away all the goodness in a person, thus, making oneself feel more and more robotic or less human as it gets worse. But that of course is all in the mind, like a Psychosomatic disorder, which makes it worse because it is ‘the mind’ which controls the body. So to have that unable to function properly, one would a whale of a time. What???!!
Well, me. Yahp, that’s me. I have just become a whale, …literally. I have gained what I didn’t want and should gain (soo much weight, as you can probably imagine) and I have lost what I want and should gain or retain (my sanity).
Epiphany, epiphany!!? where art though? I’ve been waiting and relying on you, but you just never come, you &^*#@!
Fine, be gone and I’ll just make my own.
Since, I have nobody, literally noooobody. No human being out there, not-one. I’m not saying people are bad, nor they have no care, and never will I say people are selfish..not at all. It’s just me, again. I can’t face anyone I know by not being my self, my ‘real self’ if you will. ~~ Since it was I who tumbled down, I want to kick myself back up again, -on my own! Which has maybe good, but mostly bad results. 2 family members of mine, had been suffering from my inaction and despondency. Despite them berating on me, day in and day out, I felt like I’ve just kept being hammered in the head deeper and deeper each day. Not my family’s fault, for sure. I have no one to blame but myself. I believe it is the start of disaster, when a person starts to disown their mistakes, and believe what they want to believe. As money is the root of all evil, I would say that goes the same way with lies (which begets delusion and the like). Right, so as I have addressed the blame, mistake and the calamitous situation I have put myself into.
Now, the experiment! => It’s trying out stuff to earn from scratch. Turning oneself to the Creator, is naturally the first step. But, having a good career to improve on is undoubtedly a need to depend on to survive in this ever rotting world.
Let’s see what that makes us in the future. Tada! See yah again