Entries 124
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24/2/23
p1:19 Ok so lets start coz im so tired it’s inhuman and I gotta go at fucking 7am. So class was cool, we had that science project on the axarqy cool and stuff. Nothing remarkable. The birthday, F...
23/2/23
23:24 I’m scared I might not be as productive as I thought with this writing, maybe I’m just repeating the same things day after day. Ok so B was slightly down today, just a bit. He, as I rationa...
22/2/23
23:40 Not tired, I felt bad coz I got outta class an hour before, Marina didn’t come, but I ended just being just as productive as any other Wednesday, which isn’t bad but could’ve been better. I...
21/2/23
p0:07 I think its obvious i like B. It’s hard to hide it. He literally “adopted” me (i talk to him more than anyone), he came to my house amd all that stuff. Even when its messages, i tend to tal...
20/2/23
p0:44 Ok so this, as i thought, it was all just idealisation and in practice i was more or less as isolated as always. I was pretty much as alone as always, but i didn’t feel like it at all, id s...
19/2/23
p0:24 I did in fact go thrift, I bought a flannel, oversized jeans, some weird sweater and a very cool shirt/jacket, and some rings and earrings too. All 18 bucks. The thing is, it’s the first ti...
18/2/23
p0:09 Tody I was a Lil bit down, but it was very light and it’s not at all the same sad. It felt like a long day, maybe coz I stayed up till 5am before and then woke up at 1pm, but it feels weird...
17/2/23
p5:16 Yes, 5:16. I just had the best convo of my life. 7h call with B. But first, quick recap of the day: As always, but also the kind of happy-sad I’ve been lately. Phys tired but it went kinda ...
16/2/23
Quick recap and then happening in order. I’m kinda sick, a bit cold n stuff, bit hot and dizzy just from bad sleep and exhaustion yk. Again, I had an agonic day at school, recess was horrid, extr...
15/2/23
p0:24 Im tired of thinking, and I got a cold. I started the day horrible, I didn’t wanna get up and was overall agonic, I even thought bout suicide again, really bad. However, I did not feel bad ...
14/2/23
23:17 No valentines or shit, just more low hits. I’m a number coz a lotta stuff happened. I feel horrible for not remembering everything and not writing down everything. Every mildly philosoph...
13/2/23
23:55 Many reflections, specially negative. Let’s get to it. First, the bad guy debate again. I thought this: when did my life go wrong? What did I do wrong? If I did something wrong, it’s unchan...
12/2/23
23:12 Didn’t do anything but play and watch anime all day. I loved Elfen Lied. Things: I had a small chronophobia/melancholy attack. I’ll never be able to experience yesterday again, and that mad...
11/2/23
p1:39 Ok, many things. One thing i wanna start with is that, even tho everything i make are reflections on negative stuff of myself, im actively trying to improve my life and get out of depressio...
10/2/23
p0:05 What I wanted to say yesterday is that I had n excuse to act “weird”. See, when you try to get inside a group, it might feel like an intrusion. I already explained how I try not to look lik...
9/2/23
p0:45 Pretty late, needless to day that I’m at my muscular limit, I trained like shut today, but I’m also mentally depraved of sleep n stuff, I have a hard time think about NG and remembering thi...
8/2/23
p0:02 It’s now Thursday, feliz jueves. I believe if anyone I know finds this, it’s because they were searching so it doesn’t make sense to keep hiding some names and shit. Don’t even need to remi...
7/2/23
23:52 I literally need mitski playing for writing this things. I have never felt so tired. Small ounctualitations of today (remember I’ll try to talk less bout happening and more bout thoughts) I...
6/2/23
23:30~ ok, long long. Let’s start. I feel very tired, and was on the edge of tears all the day. Last night I stayed up till 2 am coz father was snoring, I punched the wall so hard to wake him up ...
4/2/23
23:57 Ok so a whole lotta stuff today. It was intense. Lemme start by saying I was extremely tired the whole day. Mentally I’m boutta fall sleep at every moment. Physically, the stress and excess...
3/2/23
23:51 I was too tired to update yesterday but it wasn’t important. Just wanted to say that I feel let out from class group n I’ll try to be more loving and touchy with people coz I’m extremely co...
1/2/23
23:01 Not many philosophical thought today. I’m a call this new arc my blueprint arc, cause I’m like building and developing myself, my likings n shi. Imma try to go boy clothes and do braids in ...
31/1/23
23:18 So, things fast again. I felt more productive, tho I wasn’t that much more, but it was something, I’m improving, bit by bit. I used to be so unproductive because I saw stuff like training n...
30/1/23
23:15 !!! HEAVY DEVELOPMENT !!! Small incide, I’m starting to get scared someone I know actually finds this, tho I always try to make sure I talk coded enough and never sy anything so it’s reall...
29/1/23
23:52 Didn’t go great but not so bad, 58min 10k. I felt sick mid race but I finished it. I’ll still hang into cold tho. I’m defo on a character arc rn. I’ll try to be more positive, curious n goo...
Book Description
I have been feeling really bad lately and one of my concerns was having everything I think about written so I don’t forget everything. This is personal but public since it’s anonimous. I don’t care if anyone reads this but I will not be giving many explanations of who I am. This is for my future reading.
