so today I found out my uncle is going to die. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and it is terminal. I really don’t know how to feel. I hated him for a lot of years, he decided my family wasn’t good enough to know and kind of dropped us for a lot of years. When I was small we used to go to his house and stay over, use his pool, have a really normal family get together. Then for seemingly no reason he stopped all contact. Back story my grandfather killed himself when my father was very small (maybe 4?) and his brother (my uncle) was 10 years older than him if not more. When this happened its believed my uncle blamed his mom and therefore my father because she devoted all of her time to her small child. For a number of years I absolutely hated this man for how he made my father feel. My father constantly sought his affection, attention or really anything he could get from him. When my grandmother past away this uncle withheld family photos with my grandfather in it to make sure my father would not have them, amongst putting up a fight for anything he could get his hands on (even though he was quite wealthy). It always left a sour taste in my mouth for this man and yet my father wanted any scrap attention he could get from him. Flash forward to a few years ago this uncle decided to give my father the attention he has been begging for. We were all expected to just bow down and respect this man and embrace him back into our lives. Anything negative spoken really set my dad off. The uncles wife passed away a few years ago suddenly and everyone was expected to care. ( i realize how harsh that is, I just felt about it how I would if i read about a stranger, although tragic really there are no other emotions associated). My father has been very screwed up especially regarding death and the news of his now ill brother is going to be insane. I just don’t know how I should feel about it. I am devoid of emotion other than to be ready to deal with my fathers grief. He does not process any death well and I cannot imagine as his last living relative that he will come out the other side of this whole.