on a very sad day (idk why i just feels its frustrating, maybe because of the weather its raining) i try to read this beautiful book (according to Goodreads) but i find myself hard to focus, i read the same page over and over and still i cant understand anything. its like reading a german book when u dont speak any german. my brain just wont stop thinking or processing or whatever its doing and the funny thing is i dont know what it is doing what its processing i got nothing i feel like my brain working too fast i cant catch up or my brain is just too slow. whatever it is i hate it because i cant read peacefully. so i came with a conclusion that my brain is ‘serabut’(a malay word for idk god what is serabut in english, i know its fiber but ‘otak serabut’? i think its like an overwhelmed brain, lol, an overworked brain its tired and its give up) i speak like my brain is another entity outside my body (absolutely a sign of schizophrenia). and i heard somewhere that if this happen try to write, i also want people to hear my thoughts because i dont have anyone one to talk to in my surrounding if there is someone i might just find it hard to tell them which is pathetic so here i am.