April 14, 2020

I love dreaming or rather remembering them, it’s always about food. Although lately it’s been dark, I haven’t been able to remember much of anything. My mother has been diagnosed with cancer stage 4, just writing it or verbalizing it and tears run down my face. Sometimes I yell into a pillow when the tears won’t stop. I’ve fallen asleep so many times with my face burried into a pillow and awaken with a moist face. Anger is all I feel an uncontrollable amount rabid anger, I have to close my eyes sometimes and clench my fist so hard that my fingernails breaks skin into my palm for it to fade away.