Anyone else here have social anxiety?

I have been dealing with this for the past 20+ years or so and some periods/moments of my life were more difficult than others. It has been quite depressing at times but I just wanted to share some things or examples I’ve struggled with or am currently struggling with in case anyone else can relate.

Past:

-Ordering food (going to new restaurants, places that are crowded, loud atmosphere (because I have a soft spoken voice), sitting/eating alone)
I remember one time when I was around 13-14 years old, I went to Chipotle for the first time with my church and when it was my time to order, I was very nervous due to the unfamiliarity. I was so used to ordering at simple places where I could just say the name of the item or even just a number for a meal. I ended up ordering a plain cheese quesadilla even though I wanted one with meat because I felt the pressure of the line behind me to make quick decisions. I did not know how to order the burrito/burrito bowl because there were too many items to choose from and I was afraid to have to speak up to pick each side item like everyone else so I went with the quesadilla because someone ahead of me also picked a quesadilla. I am much better at this now.

-Sitting alone at lunch
Back in high school, I was a loner and didn’t have friends to sit with at lunch from 11th-12th grade. In 9th-10th grade, I had one lunch period (you get two different lunch periods for the year) where I sat with friends from 8th grade but the other periods I sat at the reject, loner kids table. However, when I got to 11th/12th, I became much more self-conscious about where I sat for lunch because I didn’t want my classmates/former friends or semi/non close friends to see me and look down on me. I ended up eating in the nearby college counseling room to eat when they let us or I would run down to the cafeteria after class before the first lunch period (we get 10 minutes in between to get to our next class), I would get lunch and shove it down within 5 minutes then get to my next class so I wouldn’t have to sit alone at lunch. I ended up sitting in the library during my lunch period since they don’t let you bring food in there. I don’t mind eating alone as much anymore.

-Oral presentations
I have never gotten an A in an English class ever due to my poor presentation skills and grades. I used to dread having to do a presentation in school being in front of everyone because those 1-5 minutes up there feels like hours. One time in 10th grade, I had to do a group presentation and due to my soft-spoken voice, I heard kids saying they couldn’t hear what I was saying including a kid sitting in the front row and that just broke my confidence that I stopped my presentation halfway and just gave up continuing. Luckily my teacher could sense that and didn’t make me go on and instead let me do a reading after class in front of her by myself for the complete grade. This is something I still have trouble with but not as bad as back then.

Present:

-Phone calls at work
I hate phone calls at work. I don’t know why it is so difficult but every time I get a call or have to make a call I would sweat profusely. Most of the time, I would let the phone call go to voicemail and hope they’ll try to reach me by email instead and if I had to make a phone call, I would try to email them first.

-Job interviews
Job interviews have always been tough and still is to this day. I remember my first interview ever and I was close to just not getting out my car because I was so nervous to go in. I used to not pick up phone calls from employers and just wait for them to leave a voicemail so I could prepare what to say before I called them back. One thing I still can’t control is my sweaty hands and sweating inside my suit. I always have to wipe my hands before giving someone a handshake. The worst is when I get stumped on a difficult or question I am not prepared for and the moments during the silence for me to think about what to say feels like eternity. On top of all the anxiety I go through during interviews, it becomes very discouraging when I try my best and get rejected one after another. I have done at least 120 combined interviews within the past 5 years including in person and phone calls and have been given offers only 4 times. That’s a lot of rejections and disappointments. I have probably applied to over 300 job applications.

-Being called upon to pray or answer a question at church
At church or bible studies, I always feel anxious about being called to pray or answer a question that I tried to avoid eye contact to avoid being picked. I just always have trouble knowing what to say and feel my brain can’t process under pressure and words don’t flow naturally. Being in the spotlight is always difficult and I have always had a hard time with articulating myself verbally.

These are just a few examples of the challenges I have in life due to my social anxiety. I know I have improved a lot since my teenage years but feel I still have so much more to improve to become confident and successful in life. Everyday is a constant struggle in social settings.