So here I am. My life has been a total shit show from the start. I had a moderately normal childhood in the beginning but of course always marked with some level difficulty. We grew up in the middle of no where in a beautiful town in northern New Jersey. The major issue was my mom didn’t have a car so we would walk miles in the side of the road to the nearest ShopRite to buy groceries and carry them back. I remember always being embarrassed at school when a kid would say “ I saw you and your mom walking with groceries home, why do you do that?”. My mom didn’t get a car until I was about 16. But the no car thing was small potatoes. My mom worked for a battered woman’s shelter as a legal advocate for 10 years and lost her job by breaking the only rule they had, no romantic relationship with the clients! Yup, when I was 11, my mom decided to risk it all and become a lesbian. No job = no money and also means losing your house! So what did we do? We started living at a hotel. The closest hotel to my hometown (where I went to school) was 80 miles away. I recall catching the public bus at 4 am with my mom and suit cases so that we could go to school. It was all so strange. Fast forward a few years and we moved to Pennsylvania essentially penniless. My mom did start working again and things got better. She no longer had the girlfriend who was a heroin addict (I didn’t realize this little factoid until I was much older) and I no longer had to live in shame about this ( it’s weird how absolutely everything is embarrassing to you as a kid). As I mentioned, things were going well, that is until my mom’s new co worker introduced her to this pyramid scheme called ACN. My mom because disallusioned and was so caught up in this get rich quick scam that she quit her job before she had even made a dime from this company. She poured all her money into going to these conventions when they give pep talks and provide success stories. She was obsessed with the idea of having her “own business” and spoke primarily in prose and inspirational quotes from that day forth. Needless to say, 11 years later, my mom still has no job and still is an ACN ambassador, whatever that is. Her new business left us once again homeless but this time we had a car. Thus, I spent the last two years of high school sleeping in a blue mini van that my brothers and I affectionately referred to as “ Shamoo ”🐳 High school was rough. It wasn’t tough academically (fortunately I excelled in this area) but in every other regard. I didn’t have any friends even though I tried my best to be friendly to everyone. I do recall literally eating my lunch alone in the bathroom a couple of times because I wanted to avoid the embarrassment of sitting at a table alone. Very salty lunches because of my tears from silent crying, of course. It’s really gross to think that I felt more comfortable there than among my peers. The bright side of having no friends was that I had more time to focus on what really mattered in life, college! I took honors and AP classes. Took the SATs and talked to my school counseler about apply to colleges. She told me about a university that was about 2 hours from where I lived and it offered a major that I was really interested in pursuing. I applied and was accepted into college. I went to a state school for undergrad which I was embarrassed about because students who I went to high school with, who were total slackers also went there. I felt that I had tried and studied so hard that I deserved better. But I had to remind myself that the difference was, I attended for free because of the academic scholarships and they didn’t. When I finished, I received a research fellowship for my masters degree and ultimately finished 6 years of post-secondary education debt free. Fast forward 4 more years and at the ripe age of 27, I am finally at a point in my life where I can look back at my struggles and use them as a daily reminder to thank God for how blessed I am today. I have a wonderful 6 figure job that affords me the luxury having great apartment, car, and the ability to travel all over the worlds and experience different cultures every couple of months. However, its funny how so much has changed but stayed the same. I suppose it’s due to the fact that my surrounding have changed but I really haven’t. I had to grow up really quickly when I was younger because of the various circumstances in my life. Being bullied, long/ multiple periods of homelessness while trying to maintain a semblance if having a normal life, etc. Due to this, my emotional majority has probably be that of a 21 year old since I was 12 but the weird part is that it has not move as I’ve aged either. So it seems like some situations in my life are bound to repeat themselves. I pray and don’t believe this will be repeated for my financial situation but I mean my relationships with others. I still have no friends, I still perpetually feel alone and struggle to make connections with others despite going out of my way to be exceedingly kind. And as far as romantic relationships go, well this is where it gets good. Stay tuned!