Hello Everyone,

I have been thinking to share a few dark secrets of my life. In front of the world, I am a decent guy a well-established man of age 30.I left my country at the age of 20 and since then I have lived in Korea, Germany, and the Netherlands.
When I wanted to move, the reason I told yo myself was to explore the world and excel in my career which I actually did.
I guess that’s enough of my background for now.
So getting to the point, over the time I found out at that I am an ADDICT. An addict to find the new female for every day. You can judge me the way you want, but just to say I am not proud of it and on the other hand, I am quite ashamed of it.
When I left my country I was in a relationship for three years and I promised my girlfriend that we will make it work. But deep down I knew that the moment I am out of that place I will look for new adventured (of course new partner) and it happened.
During the first two months of my stay in Germany, I have cheated on my girlfriend for so many times that I don’t even have the numbers.
And my urge was not slowing down at all. I was on all the dating platforms, I looked in every bar every club. And for some reason, I was getting lucky which was turning me into a completely different person. And I decided to break up with my girlfriend because I felt like why should I be answerable to any if I can have all the fun I wanted. Through all this time there was a part in my which always told me to stop, but I guess the other part of me was much more powerful. I hurt my girlfriend like anything I still remembered the I made her cry and suffer. She was a pure woman, she even tried to forgive for anything did but nothing working for me. I was becoming a cold-hearted person for whom the only thing mattered was to get laid.
Things were going on the pace, I was studying and going to the highest pace of my life in everything, fortunately, this craving never affected my studies.
But then something happened, which was kind of like walking on the fire, but my eyes were blinded by sex and urge.
I slept with the girlfriend of one of my best friend. I still could not understand that was it all my mistake? I would never defend for what I did but also I know it was not all my mistake.
So it happened like this…
My friend was on vacation for one month in his home country. Just after 1 week, I started getting messages from her about their problems like not giving enough time and etc. I thought I would try to make a feel better and we started having lunch and dinner together. Things were getting more complicated now, I must accept that deep down I always had fantasies for her even if she is the girlfriend of my best friend. Now rather than going out for dinner she started asking me about cooking together at her place, and we did. This was about to kick my ass when one night she called me and asked me to come over because she wanted to smoke up as she was depressed because of her boyfriend. I went there and she was already smoking with another guy, I could see that the other guy was trying so hard to get close to her, and certainly, he was not happy to see me there. As soon as I reached there we all started smoking the girl was all over me. And I and other guy knew that someone will get laid either him or me.
We both started asking each other when we gonna leave. But I was not giving up either did he. But finally ice broke and that girl just pulled my and started kidding me madly, I was not shocked, I felt the sense of winning over him. And that was the moment when that guy left and it was just me and her. I was still fighting in my mind about being a friend and not fuck the things up. I am sure by that time the effect of weed was worn out and we were in our conscious. And I told her that we should be doing this but she told if my friend doesn’t care about her then why should. Even if I was trying to be a decent guy, there was the girl all over me in her nighty and my mind made one of the most fucked decision of life and we started making out. It was morning already an around 5 o clock in the morning when we were lying next to each other. She gave me a heart attack by saying this “I guess we have made a mistake and I am realizing that I am still in love with XXX(my friend) and I can’t lose him and I can’t hide this from him and I have to tell him”. For some reason, I am not a guy get scared because I hardly give any shit to anyone, but that moment fucked me up like anything. I was stunned and tried to convince that even if she wants to be with him then be like but at least keep this a secret other three lives gonna get fucked up. She was under a guilty attack and she just wanted to get it off her chest. I just told that think about and left the place.
I was sleeping at my place around 10 o clock in the morning and I received a call from my friend. I knew that moment things have been fucked up. The worst thing was the thing that her girlfriend told him. She told him that she was high and drunk and I knew what was happening and suddenly I became opportunistic. He was angry shocked, of course never expected this from me. I tried to tell him everything like it happened but of course, why would he believe me. And that’s how I fucked another relation of my life.

I have done many disastrous things in my life and the first time I am sharing it. but for now I l take off and will come back soon.