Hi,

to whoever reads this i hope that it keeps you entertained or whatever. its a start, trying to let emotions out i cant with people around me. so much has happened in my 30 odd years of existence and i feel like im in a part where everything is “down”, been in the “up” part, trying to get back but somehow im still here. If you’re wondering,im male. single from Asia with dual ethnic backgrounds. well traveled, studdied both locally and internationally so i guess i got it going for me right? stupid life decisions ive made and i know ill still make. but what for right? days go by faster and faster and i still havent done anything worthy of my life. I always envisioned that, by now, Id make my family proud. i did just the exact opposite. I know im battling a depression deep down and i hope this helps me let it out to you, whoever you are. I do hope this helps me and maybe someone else who goes thru this shit. i said shit, hahaha. my bad. Cant sleep, been thinking of plans to do now and in the future. dont get me wrong tho, i am thankful for my family, friends, loved ones but i know im meant for something more and i feel like im letting it slip away. does it sound too drastic or emotional? I know change has to come from within me, just too lazy most of the time. Id rather sleep than be awake and face all my problems. maybe thats the answer? im sure it isnt, its been crossing my mind more foten but it will never lead to that. maybe i just need to let it out, someone to talk to or just vent my frustration on life! i believe im a nice guy, who cares and loves for others. but what happens in the sake of the whole plan of the whole puzzle of life? forgive my blabbing, just typing what gets out of my head first. i sound stupid, hahaha. but funny enough, its helping me this writing thing. i can go on forever, but i know i cant. i got to head to sleep for now, be back soon. sorry to keep you hanging. i know it was hanging, but just imagine like any other book, its a cliff hanger. so stay tuned, whoever and wherever you are. next post will be more of a bio i guess so you get to know me better and where im coming from.