I never wanted to be a Cliche; but I am. In the beginning things were beyond amazing. When you held me, I truly felt it. When We said I love you I knew it was real , and when you asked me to be your Wife I was overjoyed . Less than a year in we find out you have a child, from a one night stand in your past. I stepped up , became a Mother a homemaker a Wife overnight.
I am not ignorant to the change time has on life. I didn’t expect to live in perpetual honeymoon bliss. But if anyone had ever told me that 8 years in you would be more interested in anything else than sex- Id have laughed in your face. The same man who made me feel sexy, who showered me with affection and always made me feel like a needed presence in your life; has become the source of so much confusion and sorrow.
Being ignored anytime I try to initiate sex or intimacy is like a stab to the chest every time. My worst fear is continuing to become this bitter cold woman. The person I never wanted to be ;a person I despise. All the while I’m faking a smile for your little girl. When your feelings can make or break someone else’s reality, the right decision is impossible to see.
My fibromyalgia does enough damage to my body the one thing I thought was safe with you ..was my heart. So much for that…