As my time away from home draws to a close, I try to focus my mind. I have to plan my move out west, prepare for my my new job position and to live with my fiance again. I have a fall wedding to plan as well. Meanwhile my mind wanders, I grow lazy, and my apartment grows into further disarray because I drink and watch movies and stare at my calendar, visit useless websites, all the while, never quite relaxed but in various levels of anxiousness. I continue to battle my lifelong difficulties which includes fostering my relationships with friends and family afar and connecting with those people currently around me whilst being an introvert, quiet at times, and socially awkward when I am unable wear the usual facade, With those that I am comfortable and close, I become forgetful to take care of the relationship as is if these bonds can remain strong without effort, or at the very least, physical/mental/spiritual presence. This is only one of many things that preoccupy my thoughts as you may witness if you read further and I continue to write further.