okay. I started writing about all this in my journal but i dont know why i thought it was unsafe. What if my parents read it or something. Anyway they don’t think of me very highly. They already think that I am a cheap person. They thought that even when i hadn’t done anything yet. I don’t know why. What happened that night brought me closer what kind of a person i am. and what i want from life. I know I am not an adult yet but it’s nice experience. Maybe i was wrong to do it without any relationship. But somewhere i trusted him thats the reason why i did it.
Unlike a lot of things that happen in my life, that has to be one of the most pleasurable and adventurous of them all. I had lust for Ruu for sometime now. And i knew the feeling was mutual. He saw me that way as well. Those sneaky corridor looks and those hot and messy snap exchanges. His voice. i dont know why i like his voice alot. it turns me on. that command and control and that fucking domination. The way he says it that i cant help but agree to every thing. The way he likes being in charge of everything.