I’m not ready or prepared for anymore of the hoops and obstacles when I’ve already been through the first half multiple times. I’m getting burned and have barely put out one fire when I get relit by someone else. Having a dream all my life has burdened me more than never having one and settling. I’ve been a strong person all my life and have had to develop a very hard shell to protect myself and others. I’m getting beaten down by stupidity and by those with no passion. I feel like I’ve shut down more and more as the days go by, and they keep adding to my workload, when I’ve already been given a quote for when I’ll be free. I feel dumb and feel like maybe I’m not strong enough to continue in this program. Everyone believes in me and is rooting for me because they think I’ll make a difference and be an incredible educator. I can see it. I can still see my dream, but it’s getting hazy. I don’t want to take the same classes anymore that have the exact same content. I want to be filled with new knowledge and explore new topics, but they continue to money grab and add more and more useless classes. I’ve been in college since 2013 and I still don’t have my Bachelors Degree. I’m struggling as I see classmates beside me expecting to get there diploma in the same field after that semester, then the university adds more requirements and more semesters. Here is my daily struggle to reach out for what I’ve wanted since I was 4 years of age and how the system has been biting at my heels and running me into corners, giving a mirage of helpful service and pleasantries. We’ll see if I make it out after 18 years of having this seemingly simple enough dream.