I celebrated my 41st Birthday this past Tuesday, and like my life it sucked. I got up and took my morning shower like any other day. After I showered as I’m in the bathroom Darius comes into the bathroom and ask me if I wanted my birthday gift in a sexual manner. The last thing I wanted to do was have sex with this asshole. I just looked at him, and said sure Darius. Unfortunately, for me this set him off. I spent 20 minutes standing there listening to him tell me what my job as a wife is. I stood there praying for this lecture to end. When I get these lectures I feel like I am being beaten down. I hate this man with every fiber of my being. I went to work and worked until 6pm and didn’t get home until after 7pm. I was exhausted, I went to bed after washing Benny and putting him to bed. I was so happ the day was over, but to bad the incident in the bathroom had him in his get Gail back in order mode.

Can’t remember what happened Wednesday but Thursday night he was at it again. After everything I was so mad at myself because I hadn’t recorded him. I have been trying to record him making threats. Every now and again when I tell him I don’t live him or want to be with him, he does it and Thursday was one of those days I needed recorded, several times I thought he was going to hit me (although he never has). He yelled at me and told me I was not to say that to him again. When I told him I would rather be dead than be with him, he said not to say that again unless I meant it. He said we could take a trip to Haiti and he could throw me off a mountain. I told him I didn’t need him to kill me. During the discussion my daughter Ann came up. Ann is my 21 year old day and one of the main reasons, I hate his guts. He talked about how he is suffering be a i treat him so bad. I told him everyone else is suffering more. He demanded that I tell him what’s going on with her and like fucking idiot, I did. I told him that she was pregnant and undecided on what to do. I told him I advised her to get an abortion. He said that was stupid because they father is around. I told him that her boyfriend does not want anything to do with me, because of what he did to Ann. He said Ann should not have told him. Oddly enough he was happy he said because he was going to be a grandfather. I just looked at him, he was going to be a grandfather to a child he would never meet. Things have been very strained with Ann and I because of the pregnancy issue. I have been very upset about it, but I have not shared it with Darius. He wanted me to call her to ask her if she wanted to go to dinner. My day hates him, but this idiot doesn’t understand this.

Anyhow Friday night turned into the same discussion about me doing my duties as a wife. He said since I am stuck in a box, why not try to be as happy as I can be. To end the conversation I agreed. I hate him!!

We had the discussion today again, he said my bad feelings are like gangrene, I need to cut it out in order to be happy. I hate him!!