Hi there…

I’m quite new here. Don’t mind me aha. Well i’m me, 14 year old girl with depression. My father walked away from me 2 years ago, 19th December 2015. I remember that night like it was yesterday, simple he literally told my mother he didn’t “love her” anymore. Its been hard tho, the day after that Mum was gone she had driven to her friends.

I also have anxiety, change anxiety, social anxiety, Mood Instability, Existential Anxiety etc. it doesn’t sound like what happened to me really was a big deal, right? Many parents divorce… i wasn’t even close with my father ever since i was 4. So for 8 years of my life I sat on the sideline watching my Dad and little brother muck around have fun so I would decide to join in, but no.. im a girl. So i wasn’t allowed to join in on the fun cause Dad said no.

Dad… he use to work a lot, upstairs he was managing his own IT business. He was always upstairs, and when i wanted to talk to him… I was pushed away. I’ve always been pushed away. It turned out that next day after he told Mum, I caught him laughing at text messages, I knew exactly there was a female behind that phone. I knew before he told me 4 months later, that was after he moved out.

In March 2016;
Conversation:

Dad: You can ask me anything..
Me: Whose Cat(Short for Catherine, I discovered a note from her that day)?
Dad: (explained the whole idiotic thing, oh did i mention that he said he didnt cheat yea well totally, imma smart girl idiot)
Me: (kept asking questions)

then i get this.

Dad: It was like Cat and I were meant to be, like I should of taken the chance years back.

Life ruined.

So he basically told his little girl, i was a mistake, my brother was a mistake, my mum was a mistake.

Well umm… thats all im gonna leave for today.

P.S: After Easter I stopped going to see him, my Nana made me so upset that easter and I couldn’t deal with living that life.

P.P.S: Im extremely suicidal.